Whetstone

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Lord, Jesus
#11
(03-20-2017, 10:07 AM)ShannonB Wrote: First impression: I don't have a problem with the word "scandalous" though I don't think it fits in the context of this song. If you want to talk about scandal,  the song should be a bit more gritty. Scandalous can't just be thrown in there because it makes a good rhyme.

Shannon - thank you for your time and effort and your suggestions, I appreciate it very much!

I agree that a word shouldn't be "just thrown in because it makes a good rhyme" and I can see where you don't believe it fits the context of the song.  point taken.  I will consider this seriously.

SIGH....I'm afraid I'm going to look argumentative and unappreciative with these next comments.  that is not my intention.

However...

Quote:ShannonB
This is just an example:
Who do you think you are?
Coming in here promising to heal their scars?
Where do think this is?
Did you really expect us to greet you with a kiss?
What do you think you're going to accomplish here?
Do you really think we're all gonna quake in fear?
Why do you come to this place?
Talking about mercy, forgiveness & grace.
How much longer do you think 
we're going to take this?
Just watch my friend, & wait for the kiss.

Pre-chorus
You come into this holy temple of ours
making threats, but can you follow up on them?
Threatening to tear down our temple and
rebuild it in three days
Just wait

Chorus
Cause this is scandalous, the way you throw our culture away
Do you really think that you'll escape
We are vigilant, we don't back down
Do you really think anyone's gonna give you a crown
Talking about kingdoms, trying to throw your weight around

Who do you think you are?
Don't you know it's the Sabbath day
Where do you think you're going?
Don't you know someday it'll be your own blood flowing
What do you think your fate is?
Don't you know someday you'll be betrayed by a kiss?
Why do you act like we don't know who you are?
Do we not know your mother & your father?
How you speak with such confidence?
Don't you know our pursuit will be relentless?
Just watch my friend & wait for the kiss.

this is a completely different song.  it has none of the same elements of "Lord Jesus" at all.  the cadence is completely different, it wouldn't fit the current melody, the entire "theme" of this song is about the scandal of Christ where the theme of "Lord Jesus" is to praise Him for who He is. 

I understand you're wanting the song to explain the scandalousness of Christ's life but that's not what THIS song is about.  if I were to do as you suggest above, it would be a completely different new song, and not trying to make the current song into something it's not.

I suggest you take the words you've suggested here for this song and make that into a song of your own!  a different song about Jesus' life being scandalous.  but I can't change this praise song into something it's not.  

thanks for your time and suggestions, tho!
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#12
Congratulations Beagle! Now THAT was scandalous! Smile Let's see how many rumors we can get started through that little exchange Wink I'm baaaackWink The old acquaintances have been renewed!
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#13
And it's not even April yet.
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#14
Ha! well, let's see what other trouble we can stir up, eh? Big Grin
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