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You are, I am
#1
Disclaimer!!!
I have never written a song, ever. I have changed the score to many songs and have adapted them to various types of worship experiences. I have stretched, shortened, modified, and altered other works over the years. This is my first attempt at writing from scratch.

2017 Out of the fray

You are I Am
VCVCBCVC
 
V1
No words can express my deepest regrets when I turned and walked away
I denied you inside and turned to the lies of a world gone astray
Yet you remained still, holy and true and forgave my darkest days
I never did try to understand why, and how you could love me
 
Chorus
Because I am so astounded, I am so amazed, you are the great “I Am”
You changed my life, you gave me hope, you are the Great “I am”
 
V2
You called my name, I turned away, you never gave up on me
They planted the seeds, you grew in me, I never was the same
You gave me life, gave me hope, you are the great “I Am”
I can’t deny, you love me so, and gave me brand new heart
 
Bridge
All Power, all glory, all praise be to you
All Power, all glory, all praise be to you
All Power, all glory, all praise be to you
All Power, all glory, all praise be to you!
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#2
Yay for stepping out there!

Be careful that the connections between your thoughts are solid and make logical sense. (says the guy who is guilty of confusing words often) If you removed the word "Because" in your chorus, I'd be able to follow you as being astounded and amazed at the "Great I Am". But the word "Because" threw me a little. It seems to say, because I did this (so astounded) you did that.

Maybe that's what you intended ( playing with the words I Am) but my $0.02 cents is that its a little jarring to me, maybe because of what I understand the Bible's phrase "I Am" to mean. (So maybe its just my problem, but that's my feedback.) Keep or sweep as you wish.

Greg
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#3
Re-reading it I see what you mean. Trying to say I am so astounded because you did that for me...
And that is why I am not an English major Smile
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#4
Or... sometimes we trip over ourselves trying to write a "good" song? That would describe me often times. I recognize it whenever I say to someone "I'm trying to say that" - followed by a pretty good lyric, and I kick myself wondering why I couldn't write that in the first place but I could blurt it out so easy in person. Maybe that's part of the value of in-person cowrites. Anyway, what I'm saying is that:

"I am so astounded because you did that for me"

...hits me as just about perfect. It's natural, its something from real life we can relate to, it flows and sings well with a praise type chorus, and the stress pattern intuitively fits with the next line:

I am so astounded because you did that for me
You changed my life, you gave me hope, you cut my ropes free

I'd choose the end of that second line based on whatever metaphor you want to head towards next. I would choiise something that helps plant the seed of the song more firmly in the listener's mind and connects your heart with theirs. I chose "ropes" as a possibility that heads towards the metaphor:

(Strong, anthem like)

I am so astounded because you did that for me
You changed my life, you gave me hope, you cut my ropes free

(softer, but emphasize the word "myself" some)

I bound myself in shame knowing what kind of man
but I found myself loved, by the Great I Am.

On the chorus just before the bridge, you can build/Crescendo from the softer "but I found myself loved" (short pause) to a strong "by the Great I Am" and change the chord under "Am" to something that pushes instead of resolves. Then the worshipful triumphant bridge....

Okay so that's just what I hear. Your unique thoughts or the direction of your heart may vary - I'm just using this as an example. Always keep or sweep as you wish.
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