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So over you - Any Critique welcome
#1
Late night song writing.. little things can inspire me. Sometimes a bad day is all it takes.   I wrote this song about my husbands job. It could have a sacred meaning. It I haven't found it. I know God has a better place for him, a new door or opportunity, but it hasn't come yet. I guess I should throw something In here about patience and faith. 

Any suggestions welcome. 

The melody is like an angry lullaby... 4-4 time and a picking of guitar. 

Chords for the verse are G D C and Am

Chorus is Em D and back to G

Bridge chords are still being worked out. 

Let me know what you think.. we do have a melody and will post it soon!

Titled: So Over You

V1:

1, 2, 3 it's so hard to breathe
Through this agony 
You put me through
4, 5, 6 No I can't fix this
There is nothing left to do

Chorus:

I'm over you
I'm over you

V2:

7, 8, 9 am I wasting time
Or have I just lost my mind
Now I'm to 10 where do I begin
Do I leave it all behind

Chorus:

I'm over you
I'm over you

V3:

Now I can breathe I can finally see
Where it all went wrong
My days were spent 
in predicaments
And too many things left undone

I'm over you
I'm over you

Bridge:

No time to say goodbye
There is no time to cry
I'm leaving it all behind
To start over new

Outro:
I'm over you
I'm over you
So over you
Now I'm through
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#2
Hi.  Lyrically, nothing really stood out as far as a repair in my mind.  It was to the point; efficient use of words and clear meaning and message.  Sometimes strong emotion brings out the best in songwriting.  Someone said "You'll never find a good writer on Prozac."   They want to feel the emotion to write well.  

   So IMO, good job with your lyrics.     On the other hand, a side note I guess; I wish the best for your husband and a great 2017 for both of you.      Many times for me, I've written late night songs that were probably not commercial or would ever be popular....but it brought therapy if you will, release for me and often tears that dropped on my piano keys or guitar strings.    And no one will ever hear these songs except my piano, my guitar and my dog. And that's ok.      Good luck.
Gregory L
Psalm 32
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#3
Hi Raeshel,

This looks like it would fit very nicely in Country genre rather than Christian song.

Best wishes, Neil
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#4
(01-14-2017, 02:15 PM)gregr5156 Wrote: Hi.  Lyrically, nothing really stood out as far as a repair in my mind.  It was to the point; efficient use of words and clear meaning and message.  Sometimes strong emotion brings out the best in songwriting.  Someone said "You'll never find a good writer on Prozac."   They want to feel the emotion to write well.  

   So IMO, good job with your lyrics.     On the other hand, a side note I guess; I wish the best for your husband and a great 2017 for both of you.      Many times for me, I've written late night songs that were probably not commercial or would ever be popular....but it brought therapy if you will, release for me and often tears that dropped on my piano keys or guitar strings.    And no one will ever hear these songs except my piano, my guitar and my dog. And that's ok.      Good luck.

This was not about me and my hubby.. We actually wrote this while we were in bed one night.... really just a you take one line, i take one line...
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