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Come Follow Me
#1
Come Follow Me .............is now  below

It has been shortened and instrumental bridge added based upon your comments


http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/playe...09641&q=hi

Come Follow Me

Composed by: David Fillman; Words: Neil Sleevi

Verse 1

“Come, follow me,” our Savior calls;
Let us obey and serve.
He died to give us once for all
The life we don't deserve.
Let’s not delay or hesitate — 
There’s nothing here that’s worth the wait.
He says, “Come follow Me!
He says, “Come follow Me!
 
Verse 2

Let’s walk by faith and not by sight
Let's give the Lord our all
He’ll guide our steps with His own Light
And be there if we fall
Yes, now’s the time today’s the day
To find our lives in Jesus’ Way
He says, “Come follow Me!
He says, “Come follow Me!
 
Instrumental Bridge

Last Verse

The day will come when we'll arise
When Jesus Christ returns.
Eternal life will be our prize
By grace, not what we’ve earned.
We’ll see Him soon; He calls us “friend.”
The joy we’ll share will never end.
He says, “Come follow Me!
He says, “Come follow Me!


Your comments on improving this song are always appreciated ........Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



Noting ...Two Optional Verses............

Verse 3 (Optional)

Discipleship means sacrifice — 
It costs to show the lost
The only way to paradise
Begins at Jesus’ cross.
It's there we meet the Lord of Light,           
Who strengthens us all His might.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”


Verse 4 (Optional)

Whatever troubles lie ahead
When trav’ling life’s hard roads,
Do not look down, look up instead — 
He’ll help us bear our loads.
He cares for us, He’ll take our hands —
There’s nothing we cannot withstand.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Thank you.  Neil


---------------------------------------------------


Composer: David


Fillman
Words: Neil Sleevi

All: Here's a new hymn....please let me know how to improve it.  Thanks.

http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13509641&q=hi


Verse 1
 
“Come, follow me,” our Savior calls;
Let hearts obey and serve.
He died to give us once for all
The life we don't deserve.
Let’s not delay or hesitate —   
There’s nothing here that’s worth the wait.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”
 
Verse 2

So walk by faith and not by sight
And give the Lord your heart. 
His grace can have you living right, 
A fresh and brand new start. 
Yes, now’s the time, today’s the day
To find your life in Jesus’ way.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Verse 3
 
Discipleship means sacrifice —  
It costs to show the lost.
The only way to paradise
Begins at Jesus’ cross. 
It's there we’ll meet the Lord of Light,            
Who strengthens us with pow’r and might.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Verse 4
 
Whatever troubles lie ahead
When trav’ling life’s hard road,
Do not look down, look up instead —  
He’ll help you bear your load.
He cares for you, He’ll take your hand —
There’s nothing we cannot withstand.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Verse 5
 
One day we also will arise
When Jesus Christ returns.
Eternal life will be our prize —
By grace, not what we’ve earned.
We’ll see Him soon; He calls us “friend.”
The joy we’ll share will never end.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”
Reply
#2
I think it's awesome! The piano playing, the singing, the mixing is very good. do you pay folks to do this for you or do you do it yourself?
Reply
#3
(01-05-2017, 12:35 PM)tpistilli Wrote: I think it's awesome! The piano playing, the singing, the mixing is very good. do you pay folks to do this for you or do you do it yourself?

Hi Tony...I must rely on others for music, production, vocals...so yes..I must pay for demos otherwise song stays in my head....usually one instrument one voice to keep costs down. 

Often though my co-writers know music, instruments and production so they do that part...this holds down costs also Neil
Reply
#4
It's beautiful, Neil.
Reply
#5
(01-05-2017, 02:01 PM)ShannonB Wrote: It's beautiful, Neil.

Hi Shannon.....thanks...I thought the vocalist sounded somewhat like you.

Neil
Reply
#6
Wow! I will take that compliment!
Reply
#7
This is superb in every way. Really well structured (like, REALLY well!) lyrics, simple and straightforward melody that feels like it sings itself without being unnecessarily predictable, and challenging, thought-provoking words.

Two things to consider:

At the end of line 3 in the verse, the melody note for "all" (in vs 1) would fit better with a G chord. The following chord is also a G, but you could substitute an Em there. Maybe try it and see what you think?

Also there's an inconsistency between "you", "us" and "we" - I do wonder whether it'd be stronger if you went all one way or the other? For example if you went all WE:

“Come, follow me,” our Savior calls;
Let hearts obey and serve.
He died to give us once for all
The life we don't deserve.
Let’s not delay or hesitate —
There’s nothing here that’s worth the wait.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Verse 2

WE'LL walk by faith and not by sight
And give the Lord OUR hearts.
His grace can have US living right,
A fresh and brand new start.
Yes, now’s the time, today’s the day
To find OUR life in Jesus’ way.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”


Fundamentally though, this is great. Well done!
www.worshipsongrecording.com
High-quality recordings for grassroots worship songwriters worldwide
Reply
#8
(01-10-2017, 10:19 AM)londonmatt Wrote: This is superb in every way. Really well structured (like, REALLY well!) lyrics, simple and straightforward melody that feels like it sings itself without being unnecessarily predictable, and challenging, thought-provoking words.

Two things to consider:

At the end of line 3 in the verse, the melody note for "all" (in vs 1) would fit better with a G chord. The following chord is also a G, but you could substitute an Em there. Maybe try it and see what you think?

Also there's an inconsistency between "you", "us" and "we" - I do wonder whether it'd be stronger if you went all one way or the other? For example if you went all WE:

“Come, follow me,” our Savior calls;
Let hearts obey and serve.
He died to give us once for all
The life we don't deserve.
Let’s not delay or hesitate —  
There’s nothing here that’s worth the wait.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”

Verse 2

WE'LL walk by faith and not by sight
And give the Lord OUR hearts.
His grace can have US living right,
A fresh and brand new start.
Yes, now’s the time, today’s the day
To find OUR life in Jesus’ way.
He says, “Come follow Me!”
He says, “Come follow Me!”


Fundamentally though, this is great. Well done!

Matt,

Thanks for your suggestions.  I love the melody and vocalist but struggling somewhat with the inconsistent "point of view" as you pointed out too.

Giving this a re-look, but your suggested revisions may be all it needs.  Thank you for taking your valuable time to make recommendations for this one.


Neil
Reply
#9
Beautiful song. Your passion and knowledge of the love of Jesus is evident with every word.

If it were me-- I would find another word to replace "right" or the entire line (verse 2 line 3). Lyrically, that was a speed bump for me.

And though it's a hymn and I can visualize this song sung on a Sunday morning in a place of worship, if it were me, I would shorten the song. It takes a lot of work, but I would find ways to trim the song to maybe 3 verses, add a short musical bridge and maybe throw in a key change.

It's all subjective, but you shared and asked. And thank you for that! I enjoyed the song and I offer these ideas with love.
Gregory L
Psalm 32
Reply
#10
Neil - this is one of your best ones, and I am already a fan of your other work!

other than the inconsistencies mentioned I think it's awesome!
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