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As the Beat Goes On - metal song
#1
Still needs a bridge...suggestions?

AS THE BEAT GOES ON
 
Intro:
Heart monitor beeps at 106 bpm (current statistic of rate of people dying) while a voice states:
“Every minute 106 people die on planet earth. Most of which will go into eternity without Jesus Christ. Every beat in this song represents one of those precious lives.”
…beeps exchanged with bass and kick drum keeping the 106 bpm (heavy guitar riff takes over)
 
Verse 1:
Every minute there’s a hundred and six
People dying again and again
No one thinking as they get out of bed
Maybe this is the day it all ends
 
Verse 2:
Life is moving like a summertime breeze
In an instant it comes and it goes
But you’re living like God doesn’t see
Don’t you care that you’re damning your soul
 
Chorus:
Every beat another one’s gone
The very next breath
Could be your last one
Can’t you see you’re under the gun
Eternity gets closer
As the beat goes on
 
Verse 3:
Think of Jesus as He hung on that tree
Shed His blood so that you could be saved
It’s all wasted if you sell Him out cheap
Just receive Him before it’s too late

Verse 4: 
There are many with one foot in the grave
You can tell when look in their eyes
God is tugging on their soul to be saved
Gotta warn ‘em we haven’t much time
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#2
Ok. So honestly, I really like your idea, the whole heartbeat thing with the right drum or effect can be powerful. I remember one year the high school held a dance right outside our bedroom window.  In the middle of the night I hear this sirens and heavy beating heart with an eeeery  female vocal -- you know the one that is clinical, sterile,  focused and declaring emergency status in ER and their loosing the heart beat.  I probably recall it all wrong it was so long ago.  But what I remember is the beating heart that voice that strikes fear in people and feeling like I was having a heart attack!  

But where you go with your idea after with the lyrics is another thing. I like what you are trying to do.  I somehow just don't think your going to connect with the ones you're trying to connect with in just this way.  It's too matter of fact.  Too stated.  Too obvious in the non engaging way.  These thoughts engage you because you care about where folks spend eternity.  But for those who don't care stating the fact won't affect them.  

I think you have to do what that song did to me waking me out of a sound sleep feeling like I was in the emergency room table being operated on and my heart beat is all wrong and it's just scary!   I think you cant tell them what they should be thinking when they wake up that morning and why.  You've got to help them experience waking up in the morning to something that's will make them stop and think.  And you can't tell them what it us. You've got to help them experience it!!!   A d it does not have to be literal.  What would be your worst nightmare?   What could you equate hell to?   I think you're lyrics have to be like the spirits of Christmas as past present and future that struck fear in Scrooge.  No one was going t convince him he was a miserly stingy cold hearted man by stating facts or quoting stats!   He saw his own broken heart.  He wintessed how people experienced him first hand.  he felt himself falling into his grave in his future and it terrified him.  He begged that there would still be time to repent!

What do you think?


Can you recall a time when you were terrified?   What did that to you?  Use it!  Recreate the scene the event he feeling for your listener.

Called to, "Teach the word of the Lord; sing it to the nations loud and clear."
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#3
In fact I think that would be a terrific weekly challenge!  Recall a time you were terrified.  Recreate it through sights and sounds and smells. And use it metaphorically to strike that fear in your audience and move your audience to repentance.

Called to, "Teach the word of the Lord; sing it to the nations loud and clear."
Reply
#4
Sarah,
I completely understand what you are saying. I've got to definitely pray on this one.  I think the idea is a very good one for our heavy rock group and the lyrics fit, but they are just BLAH! Zip for any feeling...I'm a bit lost but not going to give up on it.  It's like the idea is inspired but the lyrics are not....yet. Thanks for your honest response. If you get any other angles or ideas, let me know. It needs that ka-thud or it won't work at all.
Tony
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#5
(02-04-2016, 07:02 PM)Sarah Noll Wrote: In fact I think that would be a terrific weekly challenge!  Recall a time you were terrified.  Recreate it through sights and sounds and smells. And use it metaphorically to strike that fear in your audience and move your audience to repentance.

Wow! That really is a good idea.
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#6
What do you think if the song was approached in a first person perspective? It's MY heartbeat....maybe in ICU...hmmmm.
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#7
Something like this?

Verse:
Waking up in an unfamiliar room
Antiseptic perfuming the air
Barely breathing, my heart’s in a noose
I could die with no time to prepare
Will it be my final farewell
Will it be Heaven or Hell
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#8
For starters Tip,

A hund’red ’n six ev’ry minute dyin’
The world’s way you can't pretend.
You wake up to this day still denying’
That this very day could be your end.

The "again and again" phrase gives me the 
image of someone going through the process over and over.

If you are looking at getting emotion, you need to focus on actions and imagery that pulls
the feelings out of people's imagination. And speak to the audience of their experience or yours.

Verse 2's line might say:
Your life passes like a summertime breeze 

(But I'm hardly and expert, just a peer trying.)
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#9
(02-11-2016, 12:05 PM)timfink62 Wrote: For starters Tip,

A hund’red ’n six ev’ry minute dyin’
The world’s way you can't pretend.
You wake up to this day still denying’
That this very day could be your end.

The "again and again" phrase gives me the 
image of someone going through the process over and over.

If you are looking at getting emotion, you need to focus on actions and imagery that pulls
the feelings out of people's imagination. And speak to the audience of their experience or yours.

Verse 2's line might say:
Your life passes like a summertime breeze 

(But I'm hardly and expert, just a peer trying.)
Good points. This one's gonna be a complete rewrite. I'm just not feeling it the way I want.  Thanks for the suggestions.
Tony
Reply
#10
(01-23-2016, 07:51 PM)Not completely sold on the metal vibe.  The lyrics that seem quite what I would expect from that genre.  The lyrics themselves are pretty solid, but you could dig deeper, perhaps add a little more pathos and passion.Peter  tpistilli Wrote: Still needs a bridge...suggestions?

AS THE BEAT GOES ON
 
Intro:
Heart monitor beeps at 106 bpm (current statistic of rate of people dying) while a voice states:
“Every minute 106 people die on planet earth. Most of which will go into eternity without Jesus Christ. Every beat in this song represents one of those precious lives.”
…beeps exchanged with bass and kick drum keeping the 106 bpm (heavy guitar riff takes over)
 
Verse 1:
Every minute there’s a hundred and six
People dying again and again
No one thinking as they get out of bed
Maybe this is the day it all ends
 
Verse 2:
Life is moving like a summertime breeze
In an instant it comes and it goes
But you’re living like God doesn’t see
Don’t you care that you’re damning your soul
 
Chorus:
Every beat another one’s gone
The very next breath
Could be your last one
Can’t you see you’re under the gun
Eternity gets closer
As the beat goes on
 
Verse 3:
Think of Jesus as He hung on that tree
Shed His blood so that you could be saved
It’s all wasted if you sell Him out cheap
Just receive Him before it’s too late

Verse 4: 
There are many with one foot in the grave
You can tell when look in their eyes
God is tugging on their soul to be saved
Gotta warn ‘em we haven’t much time
Reply


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