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I Step Into The Jordan
#1
I wrote when I was asked to sing at a Baptism. Since than whenever I'm asked to sing at a believers baptism I print a copy for the person(s) involved. I'm on a learning curve with this recording equipment. Usually I sing while playing guitar but I thought that I would attempt some multi tracking. Your critiques are welcome. Thanks for listening and I pray that it is a blessing too you!

https://www.reverbnation.com/jordanclark...the-jordan

I Step into the Jordan

[i][b]Verse 1:[/i][/b]
Like deepest dark of night yields to the light of the morning sun,
He came into my life took the scales from my eyes I’m born again
All His plans for me I can’t comprehend
             But His love beckons me to the water’s edge.
[i][b]Chorus:[/i][/b]
So I step in to the Jordan to the waters down below
And the things of this earth I willingly let go
I will proclaim my allegiance to my God whom I obey
To be a living testimony to the faith which I embrace
                   And the grace by which I’m saved
[b] [/b]

[i][b]Verse 2:[/i][/b]
A woman or a man like a fighter takes a stand intending to win
I see the tall standing oak centuries old yield to God's wind
Knowing Jesus died for me and calls me friend.
              So His love beckons me to the waters edge.

[i][b]Chorus:[/i][/b]
 So I step in to the Jordan to the waters down below
              And the things of this earth I willingly let go
I will proclaim my allegiance to my God whom I obey
     To be a living testimony to the faith which I embrace
                   And the grace by which I’m saved.
I'm saved

[i][b]Chorus:[/i][/b]
So I step into the Jordan to the waters down below      
And the things of this earth I willingly let go

I will proclaim my allegiance to my God whom I obey

     To be a living testimony to the faith which I embrace

                   And the grace by which I’m saved.

[i][b]Ending: Fade out[/i][/b]
 
Authorcopyright/JordanClarke May, 2011 edited March2013
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#2
Hi Jordan,

I like this song and the thoughtfulness that went into it.  

You have some good rhymes meter and exposition in your verses but I think I would replace concepts that are not specifically about baptism....e.g. All His plans for me I can’t comprehend; A woman or a man like a fighter takes a stand intending to win...I see the tall standing oak centuries old yield to God's wind....trying to use verses instead to set up your hammering "hook"......I step into the Jordan........second thing is I see past tense, present tense and future tense in the chorus....chorus has to be real simple...repetitive and driving home the message....mixed tenses causes complexity.  Again great song.  Keep or sweep...Neil (There's a lot of really great published sermons about what is water baptism...what is it really?  What was it to Jesus when He was baptized in the Jordan?"  just a research hint.)  Good work.
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#3
Jordan,
I really like this song too. The tense thing that Neil mentioned is easily fixed and that's a good point for all of us to pay attention to...as I listened the things that caught my ear were more production things or I should say opinion things about production...the effect on your voice first caught my ear...it sounded like you were singing through a guitar amp IMO it did not have a natural sound sort of megaphonish (I maybe crazy too Smile)...your vocals are great so they don't need much maybe a medium vocal plate verb...next thing, I thought the lead guitar at the interlude could be stronger in the mix at least as loud as the lead vocal...and last I think this would really work at a slightly faster tempo...for the baptism it's perfect but I could imagine it as more of a mid-tempo song as well.
Really nice song man...just a thought...Dan
"you are what you are because you do what you do because of what you believe"
                            www. soundclick.com/firesong
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#4
(06-24-2016, 05:30 PM)novice62 Wrote: Hi Jordan,

I like this song and the thoughtfulness that went into it.  

You have some good rhymes meter and exposition in your verses but I think I would replace concepts that are not specifically about baptism....e.g. All His plans for me I can’t comprehend; A woman or a man like a fighter takes a stand intending to win...I see the tall standing oak centuries old yield to God's wind....trying to use verses instead to set up your hammering "hook"......I step into the Jordan........second thing is I see past tense, present tense and future tense in the chorus....chorus has to be real simple...repetitive and driving home the message....mixed tenses causes complexity.  Again great song.  Keep or sweep...Neil (There's a lot of really great published sermons about what is water baptism...what is it really?  What was it to Jesus when He was baptized in the Jordan?"  just a research hint.)  Good work.
   Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time to critique this song. I found your comments helped me to see some things that I overlooked so I will start too hammer out some of the edges. I will also work on being more clear in some of the verses so they are seem more relevant to stepping into the waters of baptism. God bless and thanks again.
Jordan
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#5
(06-25-2016, 02:15 PM)firesong Wrote: Jordan,
I really like this song too. The tense thing that Neil mentioned is easily fixed and that's a good point for all of us to pay attention to...as I listened the things that caught my ear were more production things or I should say opinion things about production...the effect on your voice first caught my ear...it sounded like you were singing through a guitar amp IMO it did not have a natural sound sort of megaphonish (I maybe crazy too Smile)...your vocals are great so they don't need much maybe a medium vocal plate verb...next thing, I thought the lead guitar at the interlude could be stronger in the mix at least as loud as the lead vocal...and last I think this would really work at a slightly faster tempo...for the baptism it's perfect but I could imagine it as more of a mid-tempo song as well.
Really nice song man...just a thought...Dan

Hello Dan, thank you for the critique and some things that I need to give attention too. With the mix I'm in the process of learning to use the outboard equipment but find it most trying on vocals to get the right sound. I'm going to find  some reliable lincs to help grasp a better understanding of how to properly use them. I will also bring up the lead in the mix as I attempt to balance things out a little better. Again thanks for the input! Now it's back to the mixing board and see what I can do with this. God bless!

Jordan
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#6
(06-25-2016, 02:15 PM)firesong Wrote: Jordan,
I really like this song too. The tense thing that Neil mentioned is easily fixed and that's a good point for all of us to pay attention to...as I listened the things that caught my ear were more production things or I should say opinion things about production...the effect on your voice first caught my ear...it sounded like you were singing through a guitar amp IMO it did not have a natural sound sort of megaphonish (I maybe crazy too Smile)...your vocals are great so they don't need much maybe a medium vocal plate verb...next thing, I thought the lead guitar at the interlude could be stronger in the mix at least as loud as the lead vocal...and last I think this would really work at a slightly faster tempo...for the baptism it's perfect but I could imagine it as more of a mid-tempo song as well.
Really nice song man...just a thought...Dan

Hello Dan,
   I did some messing around with the EQ on my vocals, as well as everything else for that matter. I also took your advice with plate reverb and toned it back to sound more natural. This sounded quite a bit different from the first recording. I also remixed the levels of everything else including the lead guitar which I brought  more to the front. Tell me what you think and where I could improve. Thanks again for the help. God bless!
https://www.reverbnation.com/jordanclark...dan-re-mix
Jordan
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#7
Jordan

Yes...the vocal got outside the guitar amp!...I like the vocal better...much more natural (IMO)...is the drum track just one track?  I'd love to hear the rim shot from verse 1 more in the mix also the snare and toms....the cymbals seem to be OK...it just seems like the drummer is too far back...it has a great groove but I want to hear it more...did you use a click track or is it natural time?
I still think the lead guitar is back (except for that one lick that really jumps out)  is it compressed?
Are you using a DAW software to record this?

The more I listen the more I really like this tune...for fun, could I try to build you a rhythm track to it and you add the vocal and lead guitar stuff to it?   I would need the chord chart and key and an mp3 copy to go from...I'm on vacation this week and I'm tired of writing and composing right now but would love to play with someone else's stuff just for FUN!  Put on a producer/arranger hat. I think I'm really bored... If not, that's cool and I may not be able to do anything with it but really mess it up...I'll know if I make a mess and you'll know too cause you'll never hear it Wink ...cool tune!

just a thought
Dan
"you are what you are because you do what you do because of what you believe"
                            www. soundclick.com/firesong
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#8
(07-06-2016, 07:59 PM)firesong Wrote: Jordan

Yes...the vocal got outside the guitar amp!...I like the vocal better...much more natural (IMO)...is the drum track just one track?  I'd love to hear the rim shot from verse 1 more in the mix also the snare and toms....the cymbals seem to be OK...it just seems like the drummer is too far back...it has a great groove but I want to hear it more...did you use a click track or is it natural time?
I still think the lead guitar is back (except for that one lick that really jumps out)  is it compressed?
Are you using a DAW software to record this?

The more I listen the more I really like this tune...for fun, could I try to build you a rhythm track to it and you add the vocal and lead guitar stuff to it?   I would need the chord chart and key and an mp3 copy to go from...I'm on vacation this week and I'm tired of writing and composing right now but would love to play with someone else's stuff just for FUN!  Put on a producer/arranger hat. I think I'm really bored... If not, that's cool and I may not be able to do anything with it but really mess it up...I'll know if I make a mess and you'll know too cause you'll never hear it Wink ...cool tune!

just a thought
Dan
Hello Dan,
   Yes I am more pleased with the vocal track now and yes I believe it does sound more natural. I was messing around with the drums and the EQ was done poorly so I'll have too go back to the studio. That's okay, this is all about learning to become better with the technical aspects of recording. I recorded the drums with 2 microphones but found it difficult to get the best positioning. (This all started with trying to lay down drum tracks and I knew the groove tat I wanted for this song so I just kept adding tracks, lol).
   I am using Presonus as my DAW. It's pretty cool so if there is any fault in the recording or mixing it's due to my lack of experience behind a digital board. I usually mic everything so that has been a learning curve also.
  I really like your idea about building a rhythm track! I will put something together for you in a couple of days as tonight we are picking up a young boy that has been spending some time with us every summer from the Bronx New York. It is part of the "Fresh Air Ministry" out of New York to allow city dwelling kids the opportunity for some rural and small town experience. Tomorrow we are hosting our church's youth group at our place so I will be barbecuing everything we own and if we run out I'll go to my neighbor who sells beef cattle, lol. I think this is great that you would like to do this so I will get everything to you as soon as I can. God Bless!

Jordan
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#9
Hey Jordan,
I didn't hear the previous version (I see one's available on your reverbnation site, but I only listened to the new one).

The vocals sound pretty good in this mix - you have a great voice!

guitar playing is really nice, too, but the guitar, the vocals and the drums all sound like they're in separate spaces. did you mic the guitar amp? it sounds like you did, and it sounds like the mic picked up a lot of ambient sound, which doesn't fit with the sound of the mix. I'm sure you probably don't want to rerecord the guitar, so I'd suggest next time make sure the mic is VERY close to the amp. what kind of mic did you use?

the recording of the drums isn't bad, but they also sound like they're in a different space than the vox or guitar - again, sounds like there's too much room sound in the mics.

one thing I'd like to suggest on the song production side itself is that the chorus sounds too much like the verses. not structure wise or even melody but you don't have any variance in the instrumentation in the chorus from the verse - the guitar is doing the same thing, the drums didn't get "bigger" etc. I'd consider especially varying what the guitar is doing, or even adding another instrument or two. adding some keyboard just in the chorus might be enough, but if the guitar did some more powerful riffs there and especially if the drums did some bigger, more powerful hits and fills during the chorus it would really make this one shine!

I really like the song, very cool tune! and again your vocals are excellent!
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#10
(07-07-2016, 09:29 AM)Beagle Wrote: Hey Jordan,
I didn't hear the previous version (I see one's available on your reverbnation site, but I only listened to the new one).

The vocals sound pretty good in this mix - you have a great voice!    

guitar playing is really nice, too, but the guitar, the vocals and the drums all sound like they're in separate spaces.  did you mic the guitar amp?  it sounds like you did, and it sounds like the mic picked up a lot of ambient sound, which doesn't fit with the sound of the mix.  I'm sure you probably don't want to rerecord the guitar, so I'd suggest next time make sure the mic is VERY close to the amp.  what kind of mic did you use?

the recording of the drums isn't bad, but they also sound like they're in a different space than the vox or guitar - again, sounds like there's too much room sound in the mics.

one thing I'd like to suggest on the song production side itself is that the chorus sounds too much like the verses.  not structure wise or even melody but you don't have any variance in the instrumentation in the chorus from the verse - the guitar is doing the same thing, the drums didn't get "bigger" etc.  I'd consider especially varying what the guitar is doing, or even adding another instrument or two.  adding some keyboard just in the chorus might be enough, but if the guitar did some more powerful riffs there and especially if the drums did some bigger, more powerful hits and fills during the chorus it would really make this one shine!

I really like the song, very cool tune!  and again your vocals are excellent!
Hello Beagle,
   First let me say thanks for listening to this song and I’m glad that you like it! You have some great ideas that I will try to incorporate into the mix as well as recording techniques. For recording I primarily use 2 different mics; 1) SE (2200A II) Studio Condenser Microphone 2) Rhode NT1-A Condenser Microphone. I record into a Presonus Audiobox 44VSL USB Audio Interface with 4-in/4-out.
   I see (hear) what you mean about considering some more diversity between the verses and chorus. I wanted to put some keys into the mix but I currently am trying figure out how extrapolate the sounds from the DAW to let me do so. This recording started off as learning curve experiment but as you say these things it helps me to be more confident in developing a better end result. I also don’t have a bass so I was trying to manipulate the sound envelope on a track with my 76 Gibson LS Deluxe Special. I’m going to read that article you posted about using EQ to help me in this quest.
  Thanks again for the input, this is very helpful. God bless!
 
Jordan
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