Scandalous Grace Band

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You are More: any critique welcome
#1
I am posting this song on behalf of my dad. He is also writing music and his name is Jim Pendley. Email is jim_jfc@yahoo.com. He wrote this song and woukd like some feedback. I keep telling him how wonderful this community is. I did set up a user name for him. 

I have also attached the link to the song here: Check out 'You Are More - By Jim pendley' by Liquidchknstudios http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/26059863

Its a beautiful worship song.  Please forgive the vocals. I accomanied my dad on the vocal harmony and  The bridge is a little high for my range. 

Any critique is welcome!

Here goes:


               YOU ARE MORE
                                           Verse
Eb/F          Bb/Bb                    Eb/C                 Bb/D                                Eb/Eb   Eb/F 
YOU ARE MORE THAN I CAN SEE.  YOU ARE MORE THAN I COULD NEED.
               Bb/Bb                        Eb/C                                       Eb/Eb
YOU ARE MORE THAN ANYTHING THAT COMES AGAINST ME.
Eb/F                Bb/Bb                       Eb/C                      Bb/D
YOU PICK ME UP WHEN I FALL DOWN, PLACE MY FEET UPON
           Eb/Eb                         Gm/G                     Gm/F             Eb/Eb
YOUR SOLID GROUND SO I WILL KNOW THAT I AM NOT ALONE
                                        CHORUS
              Bb/Bb   Eb/C  Bb/D   Eb/Eb   Eb/F                 Bb/Bb  Eb/C  Bb/D  Eb/Eb
YOU ARE MORE……………………MORE THAN I CAN SEE
              Bb/Bb   Eb/C  Bb/D     Eb/Eb     Eb/F             Bb/Bb  Eb/C  Bb/D  Eb/Eb
YOU ARE MORE…………………….MORE THAN I COULD NEED
                                          BRIDGE
Eb/F              F/D                             F/G  FmA/B                             Eb/C                                Eb/F        F/Eb                
YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE TO BECOME BREAD.           SHED YOUR BLOOD JUST LIKE THE FATHER SAID
     F/D                        Bb/G                   Ab/Ab    Eb/F
TO TAKE AWAY MY SIN AND SET ME FREE.
Eb/F              F/D   F/G  FmA/B                  Eb/C                         Eb/F  
ATONIONG SACRIFICE,                 TAKING SIN AND GIVING LIFE
 F/Eb               F/D       Bb/G                Ab/Ab   Eb/F
TO ALL WHO CALL HIS NAME,  HE IS MORE
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#2
Hi Raeshel,
 
I think your dad has a nice song working here with this one.  
 
One thing I would recommend but not essential is to have the verse say something different than the chorus.
 
Here's a note on the topic I saw, "While the chorus simply needs to express emotions, the verse needs to describe a somewhat coherent story or set of circumstances that all lead to an emotional response."

Thoughts?


Neil
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#3
Lovely song!
Andy McCann

Worship Songwriter - God of this City (Chris Tomlin)
                               King of Love (Robin Mark)
                               You Said (Robin Mark)
                               We Wait For You (Me! https://www.facebook.com/andymccannmusic...153282599/)

Producer - http://www.aprilaudio.com - Bring Your Worship Song To Life. Full Band Productions. Demos.
 
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