Beaglesound

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Christmas song
#1
'Tis the season to write about Christmas, right  Big Grin ? I've always thought it would be cool to try my hand at writing a Christmas song, and I felt like there was no better time than now seeing we're approaching the holiday. I wanted to do a song from a perspective that hasn't been written about a lot to my knowledge (although I suppose it probably has been written about more than I know), so I looked at the Biblical account and decided to write about Christmas from the point of view of the shepherds. I have a decent melody down for it, and it flows pretty well in my opinion, but I'd like a bit of critique to see if I could tweak it to make it any better. I'm fairly happy with the chorus, but I think the verses could use some work. It's a little long, my apologies. Let me know what you guys think, and if you have a title to suggest for the song, I'd appreciate hearing it!

[Verse 1]
We were out in the field,
Shepherding our flocks,
Some stood and others kneeled,
As we all kept our watch,

[Pre-Chorus 1]
But all of a sudden,
A sound pierced the silent night,
As the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria,
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 2]
They told us we would find,
The boy lying in a manger,
The foretold King, the promised Child,
Sleeping in a stable.

[Pre-Chorus 2]
We carried the message,
That we heard in the silent night,
When the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 3]
We flew through the streets,
The song ringing through our heads,
We couldn’t wait to meet,
This Babe born in Bethlehem,

[Pre-Chorus 3]
We could still hear the message,
That they sang in the silent night,
When the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 4/Bridge]
We ran all the way from the field,
Until we finally arrived,
No one stood, everyone kneeled,
By Emmanuel’s side.

[Pre-Chorus 4]
We all still remember,
What happened that silent night,
Not one of us will forget,
That supernatural sight.

[Outro]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.
Oh this was the song the angels sang.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
-Isaiah 40:31
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#2
Hey. I like it. Thoughts:
Rhyme scheme could be more consistent. Better I think to stick to perfect rhyme if you can. Also some words sound forced, like they are there for the rhyme like this: 'Until we finally ARRIVED'

Vs 3 and the bridge are redundant. I would kill vs 3 and just use the bridge.

Theology point: the bible doesn't actually say the angels sang (chorus). Consider changing the last line to something like 'This is the word the angels brought.'

Best,
Anthony
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