Beaglesound

Please consider supporting CSN by supporting our advertisers!

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Don't Look at the Storm
#1
Here's an initial draft for your comments and recommendations on improving it......likely a Southern Gospel tune.  Thank you, Neil


Verse 1:


The disciples were straining     
From rowing all night
Fighting despair
Waves and the wind
With all of their might
The Lord walked on water
Three miles from shore
Approaching their boat  
They panicked and screamed
"It must be a ghost!”
 
Verse 2:

Then the Lord called out saying
“It’s me, do not fear”
Peter replied
"If it is you,
Lord command I come near" 
The Master then said “come”
So Peter got himself up  
He climbed out the boat
And walked on the waves  
But sank soon enough

Chorus:
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm


Bridge (Optional)

When the Master calls us
Into chaos and noise
Whatever befalls us
Responds to His voice

Verse 3:

Are you out of your boat yet?
As  Peter had done
Jesus says “Come”
What about you?
Are you coming undone?
You struggling and straining?
Your doubts got your best? 
There's faith in God’s word
To walk on the waves
His hand does the rest
Reply
#2
I like your bridge, nice work.
Reply
#3
(08-15-2017, 07:05 PM)novice62 Wrote: Here's an initial draft for your comments and recommendations on improving it......likely a Southern Gospel tune.  Thank you, Neil


Verse 1:


The disciples were straining     
From rowing all night
Fighting despair
Waves and the wind
With all of their might
The Lord walked on water
Three miles from shore
Approaching their boat  
They panicked and screamed
"It must be a ghost!”
 
Verse 2:

Then the Lord called out saying
“It’s me, do not fear”
Peter replied
"If it is you,
Lord command I come near" 
The Master then said “come”
So Peter got himself up  
He climbed out the boat
And walked on the waves  
But sank soon enough

Chorus:
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm


Bridge (Optional)

When the Master calls us
Into chaos and noise
Whatever befalls us
Responds to His voice

Verse 3:

Are you out of your boat yet?
As  Peter had done
Jesus says “Come”
What about you?
Are you coming undone?
You struggling and straining?
Your doubts got your best? 
There's faith in God’s word
To walk on the waves
His hand does the rest

Great message. Maybe a stronger word or phrase than Responds. One man's opinion.

God Bless,

John
Reply
#4
(08-21-2017, 08:24 PM)softproinc Wrote:
(08-15-2017, 07:05 PM)novice62 Wrote: Here's an initial draft for your comments and recommendations on improving it......likely a Southern Gospel tune.  Thank you, Neil


Verse 1:


The disciples were straining     
From rowing all night
Fighting despair
Waves and the wind
With all of their might
The Lord walked on water
Three miles from shore
Approaching their boat  
They panicked and screamed
"It must be a ghost!”
 
Verse 2:

Then the Lord called out saying
“It’s me, do not fear”
Peter replied
"If it is you,
Lord command I come near" 
The Master then said “come”
So Peter got himself up  
He climbed out the boat
And walked on the waves  
But sank soon enough

Chorus:
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm
 
Don't look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord
Don’t look at the storm
Whatever you’re thinking
You’ll end up sinking
Don’t look at the storm


Bridge (Optional)

When the Master calls us
Into chaos and noise
Whatever befalls us
Responds to His voice

Verse 3:

Are you out of your boat yet?
As  Peter had done
Jesus says “Come”
What about you?
Are you coming undone?
You struggling and straining?
Your doubts got your best? 
There's faith in God’s word
To walk on the waves
His hand does the rest

Great message. Maybe a stronger word or phrase than Responds. One man's opinion.

God Bless,

John

John,

Thank you.

So here is re-write for continuing critiques.  Thank you...Neil

Verse 1:
 
Disciples were straining
Rowing all night
Fighting despair
The wind and the waves
With all of their might
Jesus came walking
On billowing seas
When Peter cried out
Jesus just said
“Come unto me.”
 
Chorus:
 
Don’t look at the storm
Keep your eyes on the Lord.
Whatever you’re thinking
The ship won’t be sinking
If God is onboard.
 
Though darkness surrounds you
And you’re weary and worn,
The God you'll be needin'
Is both the God of Peace
And Lord of the Storm
 
 
Verse 2:
 
The boat was behind him
Peter obeyed
Walking on water
Looked at the storm
Becoming afraid
He sank quickly
While making a splash
As Peter was sinking
He cried “Help Lord”
Grabbing Him fast
 
Chorus
 
Verse 3
 
When you’re in a crisis
And barely afloat                      
Out of nowhere          
The Lord may call you 
To what you fear most
Will you be struggling?  
Will fear get your best?   
God’s Word gives you faith
To walk on the waves
And find His rest
Reply
#5
awesome lyric.
hook seems weak. if I heard this song, I would not be sure I would catch it.
only said once in the chorus.
the thrust of the song seems to be experiencing a storm - "when you're in a strorm" ish.
I love the end of the chorus. that is a strong hook but it would need to be repeated imo.

but this is still an awesome lyric. up to you. win/win.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
ACSA

Please consider supporting CSN by supporting our advertisers!