Scandalous Grace Band

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What Words Can't Say
#1
All: Here is a scratch recording for comments on how to improve it.

You'll notice a little delay getting started in this work tape.....be patient...song is there!  Thanks, Neil

Base upon critiques....restructuring as VCVCBC...........new scratch recording being done.


http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/playe...i&newref=1


What Words Can't Say

Composed by: Roy Smith
Words: Me


Verse 1:


O teach my ears to listen, Lord

To learn to know Your voice

Remove my life’s distractions

Its clutter and its noise

No matter what ... seems I forget

Your presence says enough

Too often Lord the things I sweat

Don't have to be so tough


Chorus

Lord I’ve come again to pray

Struggling through another day

You can see I’ve lost my way

I'm glad You hear what words can’t say


 
Verse 2:


Train me to hear Your silence, Lord

Above my inner cries

I'm drownin' out Your answers

I’ve come to realize

It can’t be said, ...much less expressed

How love speaks to the lost

Don’t ever let me second guess

Your unspeakable Cross

 
Bridge:


When all I hear is nothing

It may be time for trusting

In Spirit, mind and soul


For God may tell me something

In ways I don't see coming

So thoughts from Him take hold

Chorus


Tag:  I'm glad You hear what words can’t say
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#2
Nice
BUT

I dont know why you are leaving out the
"I'm" before the
Glad you hear what words cant say
There is time for it and it seems to me it is sorely missing

other wise, all good !

Blessings
ang Smile
Reply
#3
(08-06-2017, 05:47 PM)angela Wrote: Nice
BUT

I dont know why you are leaving out the
"I'm"  before the
Glad you hear what words cant say
There is time for it and it seems to me it is sorely missing

other wise, all good !

Blessings
ang Smile

Ang,

Thank you for your comment...I will add it as you suggested. Neil
Reply
#4
Very nice folk feel
If I were asked to change one line I would change
"You can see I've lost my way"
to
"Even when I've lost my way"
I think the original line implies a permanent state of being lost
and this changes it to a temporary lost.. if that makes any sense

Keep an eye on your "person"
in the bridge you refer to God in the 3rd person, when the rest of the song seems to be sung TO God
That's an easy fix to a common issue. (Some don't even think it is an issue, but I'm I bit of a tense/person police"

Take my 2 cents for what its worth
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#5
Bob,

Thank you for recommendations....I will plan to use them!

Neil
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#6
Hey Neil, great song! the only crit I have is that I"m not big on "Too often Lord the things I sweat"

it brings up an imagery that is not something most listeners will want to envision.

I love the chorus on this! great!

just my 2 cents! great song!
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#7
(08-17-2017, 07:49 PM)Beagle Wrote: Hey Neil, great song!  the only crit I have is that I"m not big on "Too often Lord the things I sweat"

it brings up an imagery that is not something most listeners will want to envision.

I love the chorus on this!  great!

just my 2 cents!  great song!

Reece....Thanks!!  totally agree...will fix...Neil
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