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  Servant of All
Posted by: novice62 - 01-25-2016, 08:02 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (5)

All,

Please see far below for latest version which is still in need of your valuable critiques.

Thank you,

Neil


While I was working on the other three test projects, Contemporary Praise and Worship, another Worship leader asked for a Contemporary Praise and Worship song dealing with "Service".  This is uncharted ground for me so please don't hold back on your comments, even smallest.


Thank you, your critique will be very helpful. Neil


Servant of All

Verse 1:

Lord, make my hands as Your hands
To help, to hold, and heal
And lose myself in service
To those Your heart reveals
Your joy outlasts my hardship
I’ll follow as You lead
Let grace and hope flow through me
To reach this world in need

Chorus

O Servant of All
There was no task beneath you
You stooped and knelt to wash mens' feet
O Helper to the helpless
Lord, train my heart to see
O Servant of All
O Servant of All

Verse 2:

Your selfless heart of service
Which does what's left undone
Is beating deep inside me
For us to serve as one
Your sacred presence shows me
The strangers to befriend
Among Your lost and lonely
Whoever You may send.

Bridge

His heart can see what eyes can’t see
He lives and gives His all
There’s nothing better we could do
There is no higher call
Than to serve the Servant of All
Than to serve the Servant of All

Chorus


Tag


O Servant of All

O Servant of All

O Servant of All


O Servant of All (fades)

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  This is How it Hurts
Posted by: ShannonB - 01-25-2016, 06:06 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (7)

 OK my peeps! Someone asked me to try to block this on the piano so he could hear chord changes. My voice will not cooperate at this time, so I am simply posting a chord chart. I may have to record on the piano & then sing over it, but even then it might not work. This song needs someone with amazing range. Any volunteers?



This Is How It Hurts
V1
 E                                     G                       E
Young man’s walking out the door today.
E                                G                         G                      E
Mama’s heart is breakin’, over choices that he made.
E                                         E
words she never got to say.
D                        G                                             E
This is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away.

V2
E                                                                 G                        E 
Little girl just never knew she could cause him such pain.
              D                             G                                        E
She’s packed up all her things and she’s walkin’ away.
E                                                            G                            E
Daddy’s left to wonder where he could’ve gone so wrong.
D                                G                          G                       E
 She don’t know & she don’t care, this is her “so long”.
          D                      G                                            E
And this is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away.

V3
 E                                                         D                      E
This time Daddy’s leavin’, he’s walkin’ out the door.
E                            D                     E
He don’t wanna be here anymore.
E                                                     E
Kids all hide behind Mama, they’re too scared to cry.
       E                      G
Is Daddy comin’ home tonight.
             G                                              E
I don’t like the way he says, “Goodbye.”
           D                    G                                            E
And this is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away.

v4
E 
Twenty-five years of marriage
                  G                  E
He don’t love her anymore.
D
Left out in the ocean
G                        E
She can’t find the shore.
            E
He’s lookin’ for greener pastures
G                       E
On the other side
D
She us being taken
                           E
Under by the tide.
          D                     G                                             E
And this is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away.
 
v5
E 
Look at that pretty young bride
D                            E
She just can’t believe
        E
He says he never loved her
G                               E
Now he wants to leave.
E
Baby’s on the way now
              G                           E
Won’t ever know her dad.
D
Life is turned upside down
G                E
Mama is so sad.
          D                     G                                             E
And this is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away.

Bridge 
Preacher keep on preaching sending out God’s Word.
We will just keep walkin’ , your message won’t be heard.
This is how it hurts when we’re walkin’  away………………..

 Outro
E
Everybody’s leavin’
D                         E
No one sticks around
E
This is how it hurts when
           D                                 G
Your faith is left on the ground.

Yeah this is how it hurts when your faith is left lyin’ on the cold, cold ground
          D                     G                                              E
And this is how it hurts when we’re walkin’ away………

https://soundcloud.com/user-759209468/th...w-it-hurts
Hey everybody! This is a re-post. Sarah had made some suggestions to make this song shorter, but in the end, I couldn't part with any of my verses!

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  Your Healing is on the Way
Posted by: ShannonB - 01-25-2016, 05:58 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (6)

https://soundcloud.com/user-759209468/yo...on-the-way

When the night won’t let you sleep
Kept awake by promises you know you cannot keep
When the scars just run too deep
Everything you wear requires a sleeve

Turn your face toward heaven, lift your cry to the sky. Your healing is on the way

When the night won’t let you sleep
You haven’t brushed your hair or your teeth all week
Haven’t stepped outside your door
Can’t find a reason anymore

Turn your face toward heaven, lift your cry to the sky. Your healing is on the way

With your arm wrapped tight, toss your needle aside.
Throw away all those things that bind.
Please put down your drink, take a moment to think. The Lord wants to heal your mind.
So don’t give up, hold on to hope, your healing is on the way

With your face toward heaven lift your eyes to the sky & cry. Your healing is on the way

When your scars are healed & your joy returns
When you’ve been relieved of your scratches & burns

Turn your face toward heaven, lift your cry to the sky. Your Healer had made a way. Your Healer has made a way

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  Hey, my name is Tommy
Posted by: WPfontman - 01-25-2016, 05:44 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (7)

Hey I'm Tommy. I live near San Antonio, Texas. I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ and adore my girlfriend of 35 years (married for 27). Most of the stuff I write reflects one or both of those relationships. I'm so blessed to lead worship and play music as part of a band called Worship Project since 2003. The current version for about five years now is two dads and our incredibly talented two sons. We lead worship all over South Texas for all kinds of retreats and such as well as leading at our home church on a pretty regular basis.

I look forward yo hearing y'alls songs and getting your feedback on some of our stuff.

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  Creation to Crowning Glory
Posted by: ShannonB - 01-25-2016, 05:33 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (10)

https://soundcloud.com/user-759209468/cr...glory-demo
Creation to Crowning Glory

V1
In the beginning of all of creation when You made the tree
Born in a stable & laid in the cradle were You thinking of me?

And the hammer was ringing, the angels were singing a sweet melody.
Songs of creation & songs of birth, songs of the Savior’s worth.
Songs of the Savior’s worth.
V2
Son of God & Son of Man, working with His own hands.
Arms stretched out on the tree, were You thinking of me?

And the hammer was ringing, the angels were singing a sweet melody.
Songs of creation & songs of birth, songs of the Savior’s worth.
Songs of the Son of God, Son of Man, reaching out His hands.
V3
On the third day, raised to life, displaying Your power & glory.
Your crown of thorns exchanged for a crown of gold.
Your story forever told.

And the hammer ceased ringing, the angels kept singing their sweet melody.
And the Christ-risen saints joined in the song, bringing the harmony.
They sang songs of creation & songs of birth, songs of the Savior’s worth.
Songs of the Son of God, Son of Man, reaching out His hands.
Songs of His power & glory, and forever we sing His story.
From creation to crowning glory.

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  Slam Go the Prison Doors
Posted by: ShannonB - 01-25-2016, 05:15 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (4)

Hello everyone,
This is an older one that I got some help on. Someone else wrote the chorus. He has a melody for the chorus; I'm still working with it to see if it works with the verse melody. Can't share the melody just yet, but if anyone has ideas, please e-mail me at praisegirl09@yahoo.com. Not sure if I ever posted the original melody in Songs....hoping to resolve this song by the end of February. Thanks, Shannon

Slam go the prison doors; it's another lonely night
I can't deny my Savior Jesus Christ
Slam go the prison doors; they don't understand
I am a native in this foreign land
Slam go the prison doors; it's another lonely night
I hope someone's praying for my children & my wife

Chorus
They can beat me and taunt me til i bleed and i cry
my faith is absolute Until the day that i die
And i'll stay strong, i'll carry on
Day after day
Because i know i'll taste freedom again
So let these doors slam all around me
I'll believe and believe until i am set free

Slam go the prison doors; I am not alone
My Jesus is here with me even while He's on His throne
Slam go the prison doors; please remember my chains
Someday it could be you suffering for His Name
Slam go the prison doors; it's another lonely night
I hope someone's praying for my children & my wife

Chorus
They can beat me and taunt me til i bleed and i cry
my faith is absolute
Until the day that i die
And i'll stay strong, i'll carry on
Day after day
Because i know i'll taste freedom again
So let these doors slam all around me
I'll believe and believe until i am set free

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  Hello my name is Shannon
Posted by: ShannonB - 01-25-2016, 04:46 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (8)

Hey! Yeah that's more like it! I originally came to the site looking for instrumental help, but not having any luck in that area, I began co-writing instead. This is turning out to be a very rewarding experience. I post a lot, so if you don't hear from me, I am having technical difficulties, so PLEASE contact me by e-mail (praisegirl09@yahoo.com). I am what you call a rough demo maker. When I say rough, I mean a very little bit of singing & an even lesser amount of piano playing! :0)
For the next few days I'll be in the process of deciding which songs to post of my originals. I had one in the Whetstone Project, maybe at least I will post that one. I also have one that I wrote for Pastor Saeed ( I don't think I'm the only one on the site that has done this), but now that he is free, I would like to expand the song, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Maybe some of you could help.
I'm hoping we will get all of our people back real soon. There is a lot of talent out there, & this site has done a lot to help this homeschool mom who needed a change of pace! I have done some e-mail contacting; we'll see!
Happy writing!
Shannon

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  Hello from Oregon!
Posted by: Liesa1 - 01-25-2016, 02:44 AM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (11)

Hello there!  I became a member here back in 2004, and was quite active for some time.  I was an administrator, up until this site moved to a new location.  I helped coordinate 3 Gatherings in Tennessee in 2005, 2006, and 2007, and met some wonderful people from CSO!  

I haven't checked through all of the members yet to see who all is still active, but I'm hoping I'll see some familiar faces.  I enjoyed collaborating with people here, and hope to again. 

I started writing songs when I was 12, and am still writing today.  Unfortunately, my voice has taken a hit after a few years of stress, and physical ailments, so now I write the songs, and am hoping my daughter or someone else can sing them for me. 

I am also a photographer, and am slowly building a business with my photography.  It's funny but even when we are challenged with limitations, God still allows us ways to express ourselves.  Oregon has many beautiful places that give me inspiration!  Smile

Anyway, that's a bit about me for now.  Thank you for reading!  Have a great week!   Smile
Blessings! 

Liesa~

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  Whetstone Song Pool. A Place I've Never Been
Posted by: linmarmusic - 01-24-2016, 11:47 PM - Forum: Whetstone Project - Replies (2)

Hi Folks...

New song for the Whetstone Project.  Hope you all like it.

Here's the words and the link.
https://soundcloud.com/user-602923317lin...p3-version

The Place I've Never Been
By Linda Keser Weeks
Copyright 01/22/2016

(chorus)
I can't wait to go home
To the place I've never been.
Where my Father waits for me,
The path of love leads there,
Where stifled hearts are free.

No more suffering,
No more raging sin.
I was born for this -
To live in Heaven's bliss.
Take me home,
To my home,
To the place I've never been.

Verse(1)
Since You opened my eyes,
To reality,
I know I don't belong here -
A technicality.
Earth spins a dizzying race.
Only by Your grace
Can I keep a fragile grip.
Help Me, Lord, so I don't slip.
Pain and anger, a constant grinding sound,
 So the ferris wheel goes around and around.

(Chorus)
I can't wait to go home
To the place I've never been,
Where my Father waits for me.
The path of love leads there,
Where stifled hearts are free.

No more suffering,
No more raging sin.
I was born for this -
To live in Heaven's bliss.
Take me home,
To my home,
To the place I've never been. Yeah!

(instrumental)

Verse (2)

God, You are my reason,
My inspiring hope.
Without Your merciful tides,
I couldn't cope.
I ride waves in endless peril,
Seeking the crested curl.
I walk scorching sands,
Thirst quenched as only You can.
Heights insurmountable beckon me,
so much higher than I can see.

(chorus)
I can't wait to go home
To the place I've never been,
Where my Father waits for me.
The path of love leads there,
Where stifled hearts are free.

No more suffering,
No more raging sin.
I was born for this -
To live in Heaven's bliss.

Take me home,
To my home,
To the place I've never been.

(ending)
Each day takes me one step closer,
To the place I've never been.

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  Hardest day of my life
Posted by: savedbygrace99 - 01-23-2016, 11:34 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (3)

Removed. Lyrics are below if you wish to comment on them Smile

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