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  I Belong To Jesus REWRITE 333333333
Posted by: angela - 07-09-2017, 04:59 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (17)

Hi All

I have made some changes based on the crits

I have changed 2 lyric lines.
One to make it not controversial and easier to understand and also not subjected to misinterpretation.
Second, it seems repeating yourself has become OK and congregations actually like an easier chorus.
Thirdly, to get rid of the YODA speak

Instrumentally, I have added some lead in to make the chorus more obvious.
I have also added group singing to the chorus so everyone will know this is the chorus.

I have deleted the old version and uploaded new, but the link is the same.

let me know what you think
all crits welcome.
Thanks!
Blessings
ang Smile

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13554158



ORIGINAL POST

I am putting together a CD of all my BATTLE SONGS

I would love some feed back on this

Thank you

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13554158
 
I Belong To Jesus                        
 
Verse 1
The day is coming soon when all will have to choose
Between living with a lie or choosing truth and die
When the questions asked who will take the path
The narrow gates awaits those called to the faith
 
CHORUS
Stand tall stay fearless shout I belong to Jesus
When these threats come our way each of us must boldly say
I belong to Jesus my faith I won’t deny
No weapon formed against me can take me from Jesus Christ
I belong to Jesus I cannot deny

I belong to Jesus I belong to Jesus Christ





Verse 2
No one wants a battlefield but this battles coming near
When it knocks on our door be sure what you’re fighting for
When faith is tested in the fire will our words bend for survival?
Will we stand for Jesus Christ? Do we love Him more than life? 
 
CHORUS
 
BRIDGE
I belong to Jesus / not ashamed of it
I belong to Jesus /my face is flint
He is my God alone/ in His strength I am strong
I belong to Jesus / to Jesus I belong
 
CHORUS
 
TAG
No weapon formed against me can take me from Jesus Christ
 

 
 
©2016 angela dittmar
Angel Flower Music LLC
angelflowermusic.com

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Lightbulb Please Tell Me If This START To My CHORUS Makes Sense ????? [3333333333333333333333]
Posted by: Vyctorious - 07-08-2017, 11:47 AM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (4)

STOPPED 'tween Pinched Veins

On Calvary's Escarpment .....

FREEDOM's PULSE Reached Our Hands .....



[ANY MORE ADD-ON LINE SUGGESTIONS To THIS CHORUS START Or VERSE SUGGESTIONS, IDEAS, INSIGHTS & or INSPIRATIONS WOULD HELP OUT A WHOLE LOT, THANK YOU * ~]

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  Our Lowest Low
Posted by: novice62 - 07-07-2017, 05:03 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (4)

 
ALL;  I know this one needs extensive lyrical editing and work, your suggestions regardless how small will be greatly appreciated to fix it.

It is based upon a request for a song that describes the actual "how" a person who is a non-believer might go through things on their way to the cross.  Thanks.  Neil

http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/playe...96647&q=hi


Our Lowest Low 


Words: Neil Sleevi

Composer: Shannon Bannister



Verse 1

First I pretended there is no God
The universe proved me a fool
Then I tried science but it could not
Explain the source of molecules
In time I found that lowly place
Where searching ends: the Cross of Grace

Chorus


Whatever it takes, God let us know
Mercy can flow to our lowest low
Though blinded by our pride
And empty inside
Whatever it takes, God let us know
Mercy can flow to our lowest low

Verse 2


When I hurt badly and hated God
Unthankful, angry, and deceived
Love and kindness showed me the cross
Where truth prevailed and I believed
I’ve seen first-hand what God will use
To take one to the place to choose

Chorus

Bridge

As a nonbeliever
Philosophy and chance
Explained my existence:
“Random circumstance”
I was so uncertain
And feared death all along
If God was really real
Then I was really wrong!

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  let me in your heart again
Posted by: cage clawkins - 07-07-2017, 05:23 AM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (9)

Hi everyone this is the first draft of this lyric, the idea was taken from proverbs 23:26, have a go at it.

A
I'm the one who created all things,
Yet I needed someone to call my own.
I'm the one who made the heavens,
Yet I was lonely living all alone.
So I made you in my Image.
You’re my pride, my soul mate.

Pre chorus
Remember when we played like kids in the rain?
Back when we feed all pride to the wind!
Remember when we danced on streets of gold?
Never letting go.
B
Give me the remnant of your heart
The ruins of your soul
Bring back the memories in the rain
The friend that I lost
And the love that we had
Let me in your heart again
Let me in your heart again
A
I made a place beneath the horizon,
Where we watched, the clouds drift away.
You were my, I was yours.
You had my love, you were not afraid
B
Give me the remnant of your heart
The ruins of your soul
Bring back the memories in the rain
The friend that I lost
And the love that we had
Let me in your heart again
Let me in your heart again
Let me in your heart again
Let me in your heart again

Bridge
Remember when we played like kids in the rain.
Back when we feed all pride to the wind!
Remember when we danced on streets of gold,
Never letting go.
B
Give me the remnant of your heart
The ruins of your soul
Bring back the memories in the rain
The friend that I lost
And the love that we had
Let me in your heart again
Let me in your heart again

coda
Let me in your heart again
I need it I miss it
Let me in your heart again
Just the ruins, I’ll fix it
Let me in your heart again

©May. 28, 2017, CAGE CLAWKIN

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  Judas Not I (work in progress)
Posted by: jimdarlington - 07-03-2017, 11:37 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (1)

Judas Not I

How, even at the side of Mercy,                                
did he partake of evil dreamed                                                    
by him, the prince of all accursed,                                                    
who can never be redeemed?                                                    
The heart of an Angel's pity                                          
was not found there anymore,                                                              
in that part of the ancient city                                       
where the poor devour the poor

Chorus:                                                                                      
Blessed assurance come visit again.                                                
My only endurance is You my Friend.                                         
Not by what the world might dream,                                
Not how we'd want them to think we seem.
By what we are, by all You've done,
By precious blood, the victory won.                      
Blessed assurance come visit and stay.                               
Teach me endurance to love and obey.

 
The last of bitter tears were shed,                                            
but squeezed from an empty stone.                          
Thirty silver coins turned red                                      
and a rope that can never atone.                                  
Still it beckons from the tree                             
that grows by the rim of hell.                                                    
Like Lucifer, his pride to free,                                          
From Heaven to Hades fell

Chorus:                                                                                      
Blessed assurance come visit again.                                                
My only endurance is You my Friend.                                         
Not by what the world might dream,                                
Not how we'd want them to think we seem.
By what we are, by all You've done,
By precious blood, the victory won.                      
Blessed assurance come visit and stay.                               
Teach me endurance to love and obey.


Wait before you step away,                                                          
And pause to catch my eye.                                                     
Be unlike me in every way,                                                          
Nor a mirror unwilling to lie,                                                      
of every profession falsely claimed                                                       
of every promise betrayed,                                                            
The gravest sin, at Spirit aimed,                                
for all-seeing God displayed.


Chorus:   
                                                                                  
Blessed assurance come visit again.                                                
My only endurance is You my Friend.                                         
Not by what the world might dream,                                
Not how we'd want them to think we seem.
By what we are, by all You've done,
By precious blood, the victory won.                      
Blessed assurance come visit and stay.                               
Teach me endurance to love and obey.


Judas, He saw you coming                                                      
ten thousand years away                                           
Each soul from the beginning                                      
He modeled of heavenly clay,                                        
vessels of wrath or of glory                              
blessed by the Good Potter's hand                                    
that we might come to know the story                                              
of our dear Lord's redeeming plan


Chorus:
Blessed assurance come visit again.                                                
My only endurance is You my Friend.                                         
Not by what the world might dream,                                
Not how we'd want them to think we seem.
By what we are, by all You've done,
By precious blood, the victory won.                      
Blessed assurance come visit and stay.                               
Teach me endurance to love and obey.


Jim Darlington 7/3/17

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.
But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

Matthew 10:28
 

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  I am cage clawkins, first time here
Posted by: cage clawkins - 07-03-2017, 02:18 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (1)

Hello everyone my name is cage clawkins and this is my first time on this forum. I love contemporary Christian music and I occasionally write lyrics of my own, I am not all that good when it comes to music theory I just write the words when it comes to me. I am hoping to post some of my lyrics in the near future

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Star Looking For Songwriters Song to BUY for a Christian Pop/Rock band
Posted by: cyano1 - 07-03-2017, 01:25 PM - Forum: General Discussion - Replies (3)

Hello All,

I am new to this forum but certainly grateful it exists. So cool to see so many willing to do Kingdom work in so many ways.

I am trying to search for new songs "out of the box" for a Christian band I manage, Boldly Broken. BB is a BIG energy Christian Pop/Rock group out of Phoenix, Arizona. The band is made up of 6 God loving unique individuals that have a heart for Jesus and a calling to bring everyone closer to a relationship with our Lord and savior through the music. The guys have been playing together the last 4 years but were called to make it official a year ago thus creating, Boldly Broken.

They are just finishing recording their first single that releases July 30th, but our approach is going to be slightly different given all the changes in the industry. We are going to release singles every other month. We are opening for some Mid-Level artist throughout the remainder of the year and we are looking for alternative ideas. We will pay for the right song or songs. We look forward to contributing back to the forum. Thanks in advance. 

You can connect with me about songs on this forum OR email at cyano@rynoss.com

Please help support us by liking/following us on our Social Media Channels
Boldly Broken Facebook Page
Boldly Broken YouTube 
Boldly Broken Instagram 
Boldly Broken Twitter


"Joshua 1:9" - Be Strong & Courageous

Chris

Code:
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  Scraps From Your Table- by Scandalous Grace
Posted by: michaelhanson - 07-01-2017, 10:59 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (8)

So....this one is probably not going to make anyone's worship service rotation.   Smile   Sometime's I just write what I like and hope that other's do as well.

Here is another new original by Scandalous Grace.  This one was written by me.  I had the title in my head for a while and was working on trying to wrap a blues/ rock riff around it.  Hope you enjoy.  All comments welcome.  
 
Performed by Scandalous Grace 
Words & Mu­sic: Michael Hanson
Sean Peifer: BG Vox, Electric Rhythm, Guitar Solo, Out Solo.
Michael Hanson: Lead Vocal, Bass, Electric Rhythm, Intro Solo, Drum Programing, Mixing and mastering.
Reece Bain: Keys and BGVs.
 
Scraps From Your Table
https://soundcloud.com/michaeljhanson/scraps-from-your-table

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  Only You Can Make Me Shine
Posted by: SquareElvis - 07-01-2017, 09:53 AM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (3)

Only You Can Make Me Shine

Verse 1

Lord... it makes me happy
All fuzzy inside
To know that the stars in the heavens
Need You to shine
They are a reflection 
Of Your glory and grace
They show that Your love is much sweeter
Than the Milky Way 

Pre-Chorus

All of creation can shine by Your grace
Lord... You are worthy of all praise

Chorus

Only You
Can make me shine
In the light of day 
In the dark of the night
I trust You Lord
With my life
Only You… only You can make me shine 
Like the stars in the sky

Verse 2

Lord... when I'm lonely
Whenever I'm blue
I can look at the stars to remind me
That Your love is true
Your love is constant
It will never change
You will be there for me Lord
Forever always

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

Bridge
 
Only You can light the stars in the sky
Only You can make them shine in the night 
Only You can make the darkness run and hide
Because Your light is so bright
Lord... only You can make me shine

Chorus

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  Holy Father
Posted by: robsie - 07-01-2017, 04:18 AM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (4)

Dear All,

Here is a link to a song that I wrote and recorded yesterday - it is inspired by the verses we discussed in our bible study this semester in the new testament where Jesus speaks. Although still lacking a bridge, I hope you enjoy it - I would appreciate any feedback to help me improve with my writing!

https://soundcloud.com/robyn-herselman/holy-father

HOLY FATHER

I'm coming back to the centre
Where it all began
All my hope is in YOU

Your Holy Spirit lives in me
Speaking words of truth
My every breath is from YOU

I bless Your name, Holy Father, Holy Father
I lift Your praise, Holy Father, Holy Father

I want to be like the seed
That lands on fertile soil
Part of YOU, the true vine

Jesus Your love so magnificent
YOU paid the price
I am Yours, YOU are mine

I bless Your name, Holy Father, Holy Father
I lift Your praise, Holy Father, Holy Father

I'm coming back to the centre
Where it all began
All my hope is in YOU

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Have a blessed day
Robyn

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