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Christmas song
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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I believe (unfinished son...
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12-09-2017, 11:33 PM
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It Will Be Okay
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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12-09-2017, 09:08 PM
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Forum: Song Critiques
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12-09-2017, 08:11 PM
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Trust and Follow You
Forum: Song Critiques
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12-09-2017, 04:08 PM
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Life in Bethlehem Town - ...
Forum: Song Critiques
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Forum: Hello My Name is...
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Silent Night
Forum: Song Critiques
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Forum: General Discussion
Last Post: MisterChris
12-04-2017, 05:46 PM
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» Views: 1,143

Posted by: gruvEdude - 11-15-2017, 09:33 PM - Forum: General Discussion - Replies (5)

Before the CSN server crashed, I posted a few lyrics using other's tunes. It seems that now, CSN is a bit pickier

Quote:Please do not use material which is copyrighted by someone else without a license (i.e.; no covers without a mechanical license - if you do a cover, put the mechanical license number in the post).

One began with the title IMAGINE, but I was told that for a parody, I would need some changes. First, can and how does one make parodies be made per the CSN warning? I'll post other parodies if replies seem to say that they are permissible.

Here was what I ended up with:

Imagine there's a heaven
It's easy and it’s true
The way to get there
Is Jesus Christ in you
Imagine all the people
All eternity …

Imagine there’s no bullies
It isn't hard to do
And yet that means the bully
Will at no time be you
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a b’liever
We were God’s to choose
I hope someday you'll join us
Like the Lord we will not lose.

Imagine all possessions
Bring glory to God’s Name
All helping one another
A brotherhood the same
Imagine all the people
Living as was planned …

You may say I'm a b’liever
We were God’s to choose
I hope someday you'll join us
Like the Lord we will not lose.

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  Old Timer revisiting
Posted by: MisterChris - 11-15-2017, 03:40 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (2)

Hello World,

I'm a 50+ yo Christian programmer who's written some 100+ Christian folk and contemporary songs, many of which can be heard at my band's website (we are DIS banded, but the songs live on...) 

I've also written seven Christian Fantasy and SciFi novels, three of which are published so far. The rest are in need of a serious edit...

I'm currently working on publishing the third book in my series, A Prince of Lynvia. All it needs is cover art.

I'm also working, currently, on a video game, entitled 'Bible Girl and the Jungle of Confusion'. It's a Christian RPG game, think 'Captain Bible' meets 'Final Fantasy' on Mars. Instead of spells you use Bible Verses you collect. It will be a kid-friendly game that may actually promote verse memorization. There are over 300 verses used in the game (so far. I'm about 25% done with it, though most of the verses, enemies, and graphics are created.)

I considered using a known Christian song and artist for Intro and Credits music, but I'm going to shy away from selling, as some asset providers insisted they are only available for non-Commercial games.

Anyway, I'll put in a request on a different forum, I think, but I'll be seeking music help for battle music and credits score. Along the lines of Fireflight or Ignition by Toby Mac... Not my expertise, and my hands are full with Eventing and writing...

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  Yoy Are Precious
Posted by: ttplayerwb - 11-12-2017, 06:01 PM - Forum: General Discussion - No Replies

Here is a song by my friend Alan Flory performed by our group "Spoken For".  We are currently working on some new songs but is is the only we have on YouTube with lyrics now.  We perform locally at care homes and churches.  The YouTube shows the pictures and words which we use in our performances.

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  New Here
Posted by: ttplayerwb - 11-12-2017, 05:49 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (4)

A friend and I have been writing some Praise songs.  Heard about this place I thought I would check it out.

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  He is I AM
Posted by: novice62 - 11-12-2017, 03:37 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (4)

Please see revisions below in this string..... Thanks, Neil

He is I AM

copyright Neil Sleevi
Verse 1:

He’s the source of all forgiving
Ever living
He's been called, "Great I AM"

Jesus probes for our reflection
With this question…..
Who Do You Say That I Am?


He is Jesus Christ, the One Messiah
The Son of the Living God
He is King of Saints; and King of Glory
Anointed Holy One
He’s Sovereign over all the Earth
He’s Savior and He’s Lord
He is I AM
He is I AM

Verse 2:

He’s the Rock and Sure Foundation
For Salvation
Born to die, Man for man
Will your heart condemn or back you
When He asks you
Who Do You Say That I Am?


Verse 3:

Prince of Life, who's now arisen
From death's prison

Heaven's own Perfect Lamb
Will He say He does not know you
If this throws you
Who Do You Say That I Am?



He is I AM
He is I AM
He is I AM

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  Springs of Salvation
Posted by: bbraught - 11-11-2017, 03:38 AM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (8)

Hi Folks I said I was working on recording my songs when I came in here ... 

It's a scripture based song from Isaiah 12 , I'm trying to get it radio ready sounding if that were possible from a home studio.  

I jotted down some stuff below the link as a self critique , but wanted you to listen first.   It's a scripture song , so the lyrics are really fixed , so the arrangement , performance , mix etc are where I'm looking to get feed back on  .

This is a new mix so ...

Thanks for listening and what did you think?

My Critique : 

I feel  as if the harmony could be better ,  I'm looking for singers with project studios to help . my range is only so high and I really need an alto to help hit the harmony parts , and I may need to re record the lead vocal tract to make it a little more consistent for the other singers and a tighter sound.   I think better vocal work could make take this song to the next level.

Then there is the option of just some one else singing it altogether.

It's also Messianic , so we use Yeshua which means Yahweh is my salvation , and is also the Hebrew name of our Lord Jesus , which may be well understood or not IDK.   The other possible wrinkle is that Yahweh is not used in some circles or even some Messianic congregations that observe the Jewish tenant that you shouldn't say " The name"  and rather use "Ha Shem" or Adonia instead.  , even though it's the name hidden behind LORD in your bibles and is in there almost 7000 times.  So that may limit my audience is my point , but I'm being faithful to the text of Isaiah and literally using a bit of Hebrew instead of substitutions , primarily to show the biblical link between  Yahweh , Salvation and Yeshua ( Jesus)  . Highlighting the fact God was manifest in the flesh to become our salvation , and that is what Isaiah was prophesying would come to pass.

I think maybe I should record the lead guitar again , and I want to add some lyrics to the outro but I'm working on that with a female vocalist. 

As far as processing the mix and EQing , mastering etc.  I've come as far as I can till now, I would gladly receive some sound engineering pointers this is new ground , and I've been tracking for a while , but mixing is and art /science that I am intrigued by  just not very experienced at.

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  I Want More
Posted by: swesternmusic - 11-10-2017, 05:52 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (10)

A song about feeling somewhat abandoned and having lost the closeness we once had with Jesus when we first came to believe. But now, are we really living the life He desires for us or just punching in and out on Sundays? Time for some reflection on how it used to be and why.

“I Want More”

Can you take me fishing as a summer storm brews?
Or light a fire that I could visit with you?
What more to desire seated with Christ, by a charcoal fire?
Mmm, I want more…

Can you place Your finger in the sands, take away my blame?
Look in my heart, redefine my name?
What’s different now, Am I hidden from Your sight?
Mmm, Jesus, I want more…..

And He said…

I want you the way you used to be
When you lived in My love, searching, pondering
You are beloved, come bind yourself to me
Your body, your soul, all your humanity

I’m here praying in the shade of this fig tree,
Won’t you open up the heavens, send angels for me
Deliver me from this …silence - I want more…
mmm - yeah I want more

May Your dewfall make Yourself known to me
Kiss my heart, heal this leprosy
Touch my eyes, touch my ears, mend my brokenness
Jesus, I want more….

And He said…


The truth about me is Father
The truth about my love is Mother
Walk through your desert as I thirst for you - mmm


I thirst for you, Child won’t you thirst for me

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  Veterans Day
Posted by: Dell Neal - 11-10-2017, 12:44 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - No Replies

I wrote this song a while back after watching a news clip about homeless vets. I thought since tomorrow is Veterans Day I would post it. I can't seem to find a good melody for it. HELP!!


                                                                The Street Where He Lives


There's no fortune or fame attached to a soldiers name,
only scars and wounds for those who avoided the tombs.

Vs 1

So when you see him on a corner with a cup made of tin,
wearing clouds in his eyes, there's an emptiness within.
If you pass him by and your heart skips a beat,
just remember but for grace this could be your street.


Life deals different hands, we all get a card,
life changes our plans, for some it's just hard.

Vs 2

As you reach out to grab that ring made of brass,
with your vision like a tunnel in a small looking glass.
Don't just walk on by, take a seat in his space,
unbridle your compassion, but don't outrun amazing grace.


On the street where he lives nobody gives,
nobody listens to his song, he's been lonely too long.

Vs 3

Slow down, take the time, toss a coin in the cup
you may even have to bow down to give a hand up.
We may all need a net when we walk lifes tightrope,
we all need each other, faith, love and hope.


On the street where he lives nobody gives,
nobody listens to his song, he's been lonely too long.
On the street where he lives, nobody gives,
then you came along
then you came along

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  Two Choices
Posted by: novice62 - 11-10-2017, 11:57 AM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (1)

All:  Here's one for your recommended edits....likely Southern Gospel...Thanks, Neil

Two Choices

Verse 1

Jesus tells us of two roads
Many folks like one real well
It is broad and easy travelin'
Yet a highway bound for hell
The other road is sort of narrow
And its kind of hard to find
Only few have ever found it
Its this road that leads to life

Verse 2:

Going on, He speaks of two trees
One decayed with rotten fruit
To be cut down for the fire 
(pronounced “fi –yer”)
For the little it produced
The other tree is really diff'rent
For its food is fit to eat
Nourishment and only goodness
Can be gathered from this tree


Everyone has just two choices 
Ending up in life or death
Each of us must one day answer

We'll account and in depth
Will we think that Jesus owes us
For good we think we've done and said
Will He deny He even knows us?
Or embrace us instead?

Verse 3:

Jesus speaks about two houses
One was built upon the sand
But destroyed by winds and water
There was no way it could stand
The other house was built real sturdy
A solid rock held its forms
This reveals the Builder's wisdom
For it weathers floods and storms

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  Holy Holy Holy Overture
Posted by: dougham1 - 11-08-2017, 03:09 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (2)

This is my first stab at trying to write a piece for full orchestra.  I call it Holy Holy Holy Overture.  Its based on the classic Hymn.  Holy Holy Holy.  Any mixing criqitues are welcomed as I'm having problems now with my right ear.

God bless you and have a nice day.

John Hamblin

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