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Jesus Rescued Me
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: ronnief63
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Worship song from unsigne...
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: ronnief63
5 hours ago
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» Views: 50
I Want More
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: ronnief63
5 hours ago
» Replies: 3
» Views: 27
Children of the King - ro...
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: ronnief63
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soundclick
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Springs of Salvation
Forum: Song Critiques
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Forum: CSN Songwriting Challenge
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10 hours ago
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Holy War
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: gruvEdude
11-18-2017, 12:35 AM
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Holy Holy Holy Overture
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: gruvEdude
11-17-2017, 11:40 PM
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Reason to Praise You
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: damp hamster
11-17-2017, 08:30 PM
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  New Here
Posted by: ttplayerwb - 11-12-2017, 05:49 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (4)

A friend and I have been writing some Praise songs.  Heard about this place I thought I would check it out.

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  He is I AM
Posted by: novice62 - 11-12-2017, 03:37 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (2)

Please see revisions below in this string..... Thanks, Neil


He is I AM

copyright Neil Sleevi
 
Verse 1:

He’s the source of all forgiving
Ever living
He's been called, "Great I AM"

Jesus probes for our reflection
With this question…..
Who Do You Say That I Am?

Chorus:

He is Jesus Christ, the One Messiah
The Son of the Living God
He is King of Saints; and King of Glory
Anointed Holy One
He’s Sovereign over all the Earth
He’s Savior and He’s Lord
He is I AM
He is I AM

Verse 2:

He’s the Rock and Sure Foundation
For Salvation
Born to die, Man for man
Will your heart condemn or back you
When He asks you
Who Do You Say That I Am?

Chorus

Verse 3:

Prince of Life, who's now arisen
From death's prison

Heaven's own Perfect Lamb
Will He say He does not know you
If this throws you
Who Do You Say That I Am?

Chorus

Tag:

 
He is I AM
He is I AM
He is I AM

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  Springs of Salvation
Posted by: bbraught - 11-11-2017, 03:38 AM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (3)

Hi Folks I said I was working on recording my songs when I came in here ... 

It's a scripture based song from Isaiah 12 , I'm trying to get it radio ready sounding if that were possible from a home studio.  

I jotted down some stuff below the link as a self critique , but wanted you to listen first.   It's a scripture song , so the lyrics are really fixed , so the arrangement , performance , mix etc are where I'm looking to get feed back on  .

This is a new mix so ... 

https://soundcloud.com/blake-braught/spr...-salvation


Thanks for listening and what did you think?








My Critique : 

I feel  as if the harmony could be better ,  I'm looking for singers with project studios to help . my range is only so high and I really need an alto to help hit the harmony parts , and I may need to re record the lead vocal tract to make it a little more consistent for the other singers and a tighter sound.   I think better vocal work could make take this song to the next level.


Then there is the option of just some one else singing it altogether.

It's also Messianic , so we use Yeshua which means Yahweh is my salvation , and is also the Hebrew name of our Lord Jesus , which may be well understood or not IDK.   The other possible wrinkle is that Yahweh is not used in some circles or even some Messianic congregations that observe the Jewish tenant that you shouldn't say " The name"  and rather use "Ha Shem" or Adonia instead.  , even though it's the name hidden behind LORD in your bibles and is in there almost 7000 times.  So that may limit my audience is my point , but I'm being faithful to the text of Isaiah and literally using a bit of Hebrew instead of substitutions , primarily to show the biblical link between  Yahweh , Salvation and Yeshua ( Jesus)  . Highlighting the fact God was manifest in the flesh to become our salvation , and that is what Isaiah was prophesying would come to pass.

I think maybe I should record the lead guitar again , and I want to add some lyrics to the outro but I'm working on that with a female vocalist. 

As far as processing the mix and EQing , mastering etc.  I've come as far as I can till now, I would gladly receive some sound engineering pointers this is new ground , and I've been tracking for a while , but mixing is and art /science that I am intrigued by  just not very experienced at.

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  I Want More
Posted by: swesternmusic - 11-10-2017, 05:52 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (3)

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13654420

A song about feeling somewhat abandoned and having lost the closeness we once had with Jesus when we first came to believe. But now, are we really living the life He desires for us or just punching in and out on Sundays? Time for some reflection on how it used to be and why.
Skip

“I Want More”
10/30/17

VERSE
Can you take me fishing as a summer storm brews?
Or light a fire that I could visit with you?
What more to desire seated with Christ, by a charcoal fire?
Mmm, I want more…

Can you place Your finger in the sands, take away my blame?
Look in my heart, redefine my name?
What’s different now, Am I hidden from Your sight?
Mmm, Jesus, I want more…..

LIFT
And He said…

CHORUS:
I want you the way you used to be
When you lived in My love, searching, pondering
You are beloved, come bind yourself to me
Your body, your soul, all your humanity

VERSE
I’m here praying in the shade of this fig tree,
Won’t you open up the heavens, send angels for me
Deliver me from this …silence - I want more…
mmm - yeah I want more

May Your dewfall make Yourself known to me
Kiss my heart, heal this leprosy
Touch my eyes, touch my ears, mend my brokenness
Jesus, I want more….

LIFT
And He said…

REPEAT CHORUS:


BRIDGE:
The truth about me is Father
The truth about my love is Mother
Walk through your desert as I thirst for you - mmm

REPEAT CHORUS:

TAG:
I thirst for you, Child won’t you thirst for me

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  Veterans Day
Posted by: Dell Neal - 11-10-2017, 12:44 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - No Replies

I wrote this song a while back after watching a news clip about homeless vets. I thought since tomorrow is Veterans Day I would post it. I can't seem to find a good melody for it. HELP!!


                                                        

                                                                The Street Where He Lives

Intro:

There's no fortune or fame attached to a soldiers name,
only scars and wounds for those who avoided the tombs.

Vs 1

So when you see him on a corner with a cup made of tin,
wearing clouds in his eyes, there's an emptiness within.
If you pass him by and your heart skips a beat,
just remember but for grace this could be your street.

Bridge

Life deals different hands, we all get a card,
life changes our plans, for some it's just hard.

Vs 2

As you reach out to grab that ring made of brass,
with your vision like a tunnel in a small looking glass.
Don't just walk on by, take a seat in his space,
unbridle your compassion, but don't outrun amazing grace.

Chorus

On the street where he lives nobody gives,
nobody listens to his song, he's been lonely too long.

Vs 3

Slow down, take the time, toss a coin in the cup
you may even have to bow down to give a hand up.
We may all need a net when we walk lifes tightrope,
we all need each other, faith, love and hope.

Chorus

On the street where he lives nobody gives,
nobody listens to his song, he's been lonely too long.
On the street where he lives, nobody gives,
then you came along
then you came along

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  Two Choices
Posted by: novice62 - 11-10-2017, 11:57 AM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (1)

All:  Here's one for your recommended edits....likely Southern Gospel...Thanks, Neil

Two Choices

Verse 1

Jesus tells us of two roads
Many folks like one real well
It is broad and easy travelin'
Yet a highway bound for hell
The other road is sort of narrow
And its kind of hard to find
Only few have ever found it
Its this road that leads to life


Verse 2:

Going on, He speaks of two trees
One decayed with rotten fruit
To be cut down for the fire 
(pronounced “fi –yer”)
For the little it produced
The other tree is really diff'rent
For its food is fit to eat
Nourishment and only goodness
Can be gathered from this tree


Chorus:

Everyone has just two choices 
Ending up in life or death
Each of us must one day answer

We'll account and in depth
Will we think that Jesus owes us
For good we think we've done and said
Will He deny He even knows us?
Or embrace us instead?

Verse 3:

Jesus speaks about two houses
One was built upon the sand
But destroyed by winds and water
There was no way it could stand
The other house was built real sturdy
A solid rock held its forms
This reveals the Builder's wisdom
For it weathers floods and storms

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  Holy Holy Holy Overture
Posted by: dougham1 - 11-08-2017, 03:09 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (2)

This is my first stab at trying to write a piece for full orchestra.  I call it Holy Holy Holy Overture.  Its based on the classic Hymn.  Holy Holy Holy.  Any mixing criqitues are welcomed as I'm having problems now with my right ear.  

https://soundcloud.com/doug-hamblin-1/ho...y-overture

God bless you and have a nice day.

John Hamblin

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  Forgive & Forget
Posted by: ShannonB - 11-04-2017, 09:35 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

Speaking of forgetting.....
https://soundcloud.com/user-759209468/forgive-forget

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  Instrumental
Posted by: ShannonB - 11-03-2017, 04:18 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

Piano Praise.

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  Trust- by Scandalous Grace
Posted by: michaelhanson - 11-03-2017, 03:18 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

Trust

Here is the second original song that Sean has written for the JAF Project.  Let us know what you think of the mix on this song.  
 
https://soundcloud.com/michaeljhanson/trust
 
Performed by Scandalous Grace 
Words & Mu­sic: Sean Peifer
Sean Peifer: Lead Vox, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Guitar Solo.
Michael Hanson: Bass, BGV, Mixing/mastering.
Reece Bain: Keys, Drum Programing and BGVs.

Lyrics:

Verse 1:

If this is not supposed to be
Far too diffi - cult for me
Then tell me why I cannot see
Beyond these disa - bilities
 
Pre-Chorus:
I’m weak and You’re strong
And Your grace has been sufficient all along
I should’ve known that I could trust in You
Chorus 1:
I can
I can trust in You to be my strength
 
Verse 2:
There’s nothing special about me
Turning suffering to victory
I’m not the one who’s great, you see
Jesus I’ll give You the glory
 
Pre-Chorus:
I’m weak and You’re strong
And Your grace has been sufficient all along
I should’ve known that I could trust in You
 
Chorus 2:
I can trust in You, I can trust in You
I can trust in You
 
Bridge:
When I can’t go on anymore
And I’ve nearly reached the end
I pray You’ll give me strength
So I can be content
 
Guitar Solo (like chorus): C2 – G – C2 – E m – C2
 
Pre-Chorus:
I’m weak and You’re strong
And Your grace has been sufficient all along
I should’ve known that I could trust in You
 
Chorus 3:
I can trust in You, I can trust in You
I can trust in You, I can trust in You to be my strength
Won’t You be my strength

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ACSA

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