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Carry The Cross
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: gruvEdude
40 minutes ago
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Parodies
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Lazarus Blues
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: angela
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-----Abiding Love----- 33...
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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Today, 01:21 AM
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Let Me Behold
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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Yesterday, 09:31 AM
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Don't Forget --3 please
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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02-21-2018, 08:34 PM
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Lady Wisdom
Forum: Lyric Critiques
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Choices
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Let Me Behold
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Back! (Am I doing this r...
Forum: Hello My Name is...
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  Empty
Posted by: softproinc - 01-05-2018, 09:14 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (2)

All comments greatly appreciated.

God Bless,

John

                                            Empty
                                      John M. McKivergan
                   
                    Intro:
 
               Your friends couldn’t stay awake for an hour with You       
               Bearing the weight of the world was all You knew                
               One follower arrived in your time of need                               
               His kiss started your agony too hard to believe                       
             
                                   Rage and ridicule were hurled your way          
                            Scourging and thorns created excruciating pain                        
                            Nailed to a cross was to be your end                     
                             But You left an empty tomb instead                      
 
               Like an outlaw the mob threw its wrath at you                        
              Church and state could not convict nothing was true              
              Your silent defense made a deafening sound                             
                You knew this path of horror and death held you bound       
            
                             Rage and ridicule were hurled your way            
                             Scourging and thorns created excruciating pain                                   
                             Nailed to a cross was to be your end                    
                              But You left an empty tomb instead       
               
                                    Starting that third morn creation witnessed an epic change 
                                             The tomb stone was moved inside just a shroud remained
                                              You had taken their worst and left it all behind              
                                               Even sin and death bowed to You their broken chains could not bind   
 
                   Instrumental:        
 
                               Rage and ridicule were hurled your way               
                               Scourging and thorns created excruciating pain                                 
                               Nailed to a cross was to be your end                       
                                But You left an empty tomb instead                          
 
                               Rage and ridicule were hurled your way                 
                               Scourging and thorns created excruciating pain                                 
                               Nailed to a cross was to be your end                         
                                But You left an empty tomb instead                            
 
                                   
                                                           
                             
                                       “Empty” ©2018 John McKivergan (ASCAP)

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Question Using ALL CAPS
Posted by: gruvEdude - 01-03-2018, 07:14 PM - Forum: General Discussion - Replies (2)

For chat and Facebook posts, all caps seems like YELLING, and I avoid using caps for those situations. Timothy Roland is a published author friend of mine of the DETECTIVE DAN series, Dr. Seuss's COME DOWN NOW, FLYING COW, and others. I occasionally see Tim, but not usually when I'd feel like (or may not even think of) bringing up this subject. When I've seen Tim refer to others' titles, all caps seem to have been used, and I have used all caps for my song titles.

How proper/improper is it for using all caps for my song titles? Other situations?

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Sad God Judges the Heart
Posted by: gruvEdude - 01-03-2018, 06:44 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - No Replies

Idolatrous  KJV words will be revered when more than actions

God Judges the Heart


God judges the heart.
Our words shalt not matter.
As long as it’s praise,
The Lord they shalt flatter.

Chorus:
Too foolish to practice,
At work, school, and home.
God judges the heart.
Let’s praise Thee alone.

Like humans, we know,
God’s ways sure get olde.
To witness Him more
Would be rather cold.

So when we are with
Our friends that have faith,
Practice bad habits.
Just trust and obey.

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Music I'm Not Standing Still - A declaration in song
Posted by: VinylGoods - 12-29-2017, 04:26 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (2)

Hi all,

My band, The Vinyl Goods, just recorded and released a new single inspired by Paul's "run the race" analogy in 1 Corinthians 9:24, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize."

The song is titled, "I'm Not Standing Still", was written by Dave Cooley (released via license MLIC00004544), and recorded in our home studio. We'd love to hear your feedback on the recording, mix, and overall production.

You can listen to the song via the following links:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0UjF0OXcaINsc2QDT164KP 

YouTube: https://youtu.be/uWvP4KF9-p4

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/im-not...1327594463

Google Play: https://play.google.com/music/r/m/Bcb2dj...inyl_Goods

You can download the lyrics and guitar chords here: https://vinylgoods.com/files/315516/im-n...-still.pdf

Thank you
-Tim
The Vinyl Goods
http://www.VinylGoods.com

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  You Ain’t Heard It All
Posted by: novice62 - 12-28-2017, 07:12 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

Here's one Dan Simmons (brought to life with lyrics, composition, production, etc.  Please let me know how we might improve it!  Thank you!!!

Words: Neil Sleevi
Words, Music, and all else: Dan Simmons

You Ain’t Heard It All

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13672706

Verse 1


As Jesus slept there rose a storm

And His men feared they would drown

So they cried to Him; “Save us Lord!”

This ol’ bucket’s going down!

Then Jesus rose amidst the noise

Rebuking wind and wave

Amazed disciples heard His voice

And the crashing seas obeyed


Chorus


So you may think you’ve heard it all

But have you heard the Savior’s call?

The loving words of Jesus

The truth that comes to free us

You may have heard a million things

But till you hear the King of kings

My friend you ain’t heard anything

Oh, you ain’t heard it all

Verse 2


When the leaders wanted Jesus dead

They sent the Temple guards

They feared that Jesus’ name would spread 

And His fame would go too far

But the guards returned their job undone 

They failed to bring him in

In shame explaining what went wrong

They said, “No one's spoke like Him.”



Chorus



Bridge



Well the words of the philosophers

They will rise and they will fall

But the words of heaven’s carpenter

Will reign above them all


Chorus

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  We Bow Down
Posted by: JustMe - 12-28-2017, 04:24 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (1)

I haven't been on this site for a couple of years. I posted this song on here a while back. This is the updated version.

Please critique it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_pan-XL...e=youtu.be


Dan
a.k.a Slob Bob

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  Carry The Cross
Posted by: michaelhanson - 12-27-2017, 10:08 AM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (7)

Here is a new original song written and mixed by me; performed by Scandalous Grace.  Let me know what you think of the mix on this one.

https://soundcloud.com/michaeljhanson/carry-the-cross

Scandalous Grace is:
Sean Peifer: BG Vox, Electric Rhythm, Guitar Solo.
Michael Hanson: Lead Vocal, Bass, Acoustic Rhythm, Intro Solo, Drum Programing, Mixing and mastering.
Reece Bain: Keys and BGVs.


Chorus:
You carried the cross on your back;
You carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders.
You carried the cross on your back;
You shed a tear for the sinfulness of man.

Verse 1:
You came for me, to set me free.
Your love is the only thing that I will ever need.
You gave me grace, came to this place.
You gave me life for a debt I can't repay.

Chorus:
You carried the cross on your back;
You carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders.
You carried the cross on your back;
You shed a tear for the sinfulness of man.

Verse 2:
You are his Son, begotten Son.
No one shall enter unless its through the Son.
You gave me Grace, which I can't repay.
Your kingdom will endure and forever reign.

Chorus:
You carried the cross on your back;
You carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders.
You carried the cross on your back;
You shed a tear for the sinfulness of man.

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  Merry Christmas!
Posted by: damp hamster - 12-25-2017, 12:16 PM - Forum: General Discussion - Replies (3)

May you and your loved ones have a very blessed Christmas!

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  Go Tell It on the Mountains MERRY CHRISTMAS
Posted by: dougham1 - 12-24-2017, 01:01 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (1)

Merry Merry Christmas. Blessed are those who know the joyful sound. Here's a fun carol I play for you to increase your joy this year. God bless and have a great Christmas and New Year. Big Grin

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  God's Eye View
Posted by: BeingLed - 12-23-2017, 07:50 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

Gods Eye View
K.Cayea©2017
I was living my life through TV ads
Hoping I’d be happy in Foster Grants
But a spiritual cataract, was blinding me
 
So I kept bangin’ around,  with a bloodshot soul
‘Till I stumbled on a bible in a hotel room
And them red letters just,  started talking to me
Chorus
Now I’m enjoying a God’s Eye View
I’m seeing the world like He wants me to
Amazing panoramas,  wide and clear,  do you hear
You see the light came on,  John Chapter 9
I figure He could help me if He could heal the blind
Now I rely on that Good Book to get me through
With a God’s Eye View
 
Now the world’s looking better through my window pane
It’s like the Lord took the Windex,  to my brain
And wiped away the shame,  I was looking through
 
Yeah, He lifted me up,  past the mountain tops
With the grace and the glory of a rocket shot
At thirty thousand feet ,  I’m on my way
 
Chorus
Oh I’m enjoying a God’s Eye View
I’m seeing the world like He wants me to
Amazing panoramas,  wide and clear,  do you hear
You see the light came on John Chapter 9
I figure He could help me if He could heal the blind
Now I rely on that Good Book to get me through
With a God’s Eye…
 
Bridge
…Look at myself,  through His word
I can see me on the big screen, rounding third
Coming home to Jesus , say Amen

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DFW Christian Songwriters

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