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Christmas song
Forum: Lyric Critiques
Last Post: Rebbie
Yesterday, 09:05 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 8
I believe (unfinished son...
Forum: Lyric Critiques
Last Post: Rebbie
Yesterday, 08:41 PM
» Replies: 6
» Views: 121
GOT TO
Forum: Lyric Critiques
Last Post: gruvEdude
12-09-2017, 11:33 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 8
It Will Be Okay
Forum: Lyric Critiques
Last Post: savedbygrace99
12-09-2017, 09:08 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 20
Saving Christmas
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: ShannonB
12-09-2017, 08:11 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 32
Trust and Follow You
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: novice62
12-09-2017, 04:08 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 73
Life in Bethlehem Town - ...
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: swesternmusic
12-08-2017, 06:08 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 11
Hello
Forum: Hello My Name is...
Last Post: DenaliDog
12-06-2017, 07:28 PM
» Replies: 4
» Views: 132
Silent Night
Forum: Song Critiques
Last Post: PraisingHim
12-06-2017, 05:10 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 26
soundclick
Forum: General Discussion
Last Post: MisterChris
12-04-2017, 05:46 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 1,138

 
  Christmas song
Posted by: Rebbie - Yesterday, 09:05 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - No Replies

'Tis the season to write about Christmas, right  Big Grin ? I've always thought it would be cool to try my hand at writing a Christmas song, and I felt like there was no better time than now seeing we're approaching the holiday. I wanted to do a song from a perspective that hasn't been written about a lot to my knowledge (although I suppose it probably has been written about more than I know), so I looked at the Biblical account and decided to write about Christmas from the point of view of the shepherds. I have a decent melody down for it, and it flows pretty well in my opinion, but I'd like a bit of critique to see if I could tweak it to make it any better. I'm fairly happy with the chorus, but I think the verses could use some work. It's a little long, my apologies. Let me know what you guys think, and if you have a title to suggest for the song, I'd appreciate hearing it!

[Verse 1]
We were out in the field,
Shepherding our flocks,
Some stood and others kneeled,
As we all kept our watch,

[Pre-Chorus 1]
But all of a sudden,
A sound pierced the silent night,
As the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria,
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 2]
They told us we would find,
The boy lying in a manger,
The foretold King, the promised Child,
Sleeping in a stable.

[Pre-Chorus 2]
We carried the message,
That we heard in the silent night,
When the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 3]
We flew through the streets,
The song ringing through our heads,
We couldn’t wait to meet,
This Babe born in Bethlehem,

[Pre-Chorus 3]
We could still hear the message,
That they sang in the silent night,
When the whole field was flooded,
With a heavenly, blinding light.

[Chorus]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.

[Verse 4/Bridge]
We ran all the way from the field,
Until we finally arrived,
No one stood, everyone kneeled,
By Emmanuel’s side.

[Pre-Chorus 4]
We all still remember,
What happened that silent night,
Not one of us will forget,
That supernatural sight.

[Outro]
Do not be afraid,
For joy has come today,
God in the form of a babe,
Christ has come to save,
Gloria, Gloria
This was the song the angels sang.
Oh this was the song the angels sang.

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  GOT TO
Posted by: gruvEdude - 12-09-2017, 11:33 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - No Replies

This duet, a lost soul followed by the Holy Spirit in the chorus, was inspired from a colleague saying "We're all going to hell." How much of what the world says do I agree with (by silence)?

GOT TO

My friends and I will meet in Hell.
We’re bad. It’s fun. Hee, hee.
Got to think of myself. I’m number one.
I want the best for me.

Chorus:
God has the better fruit for you.
Which one will you choose?
The Way, the Truth, and the Life,
Or the one that you will lose.

God’s word is just a book by men.
I’ll trust in what I see.
Got to keep in control. I make the rules.
The way it has to be.

A perfect plan, God didn’t make.
He goofed. He’s real. Yeah, right.
Got to do things myself. God is me.
The party is on tonight.

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  It Will Be Okay
Posted by: savedbygrace99 - 12-08-2017, 09:01 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (1)

Hey! This song probably needs a lot of work, but looking for thoughts on it at this point.. First verse is about someone thinking of suicide, second verse is about someone cutting themselves, and third is about someone with an eating disorder.. Let me know what you think. And again, I realize it's probably not great yet, it's still a work in progress :Smile

Verse 1:
Dear child I see you standing alone, while the rest of world moves on/
You see everyone smiling, see the sun is still shining/
But your hurting, and your whole life feels wrong/ 
You don’t know where to turn you’re alone with your hurt/
And you don’t know if you want to keep living for long/

Oh My child listen to Me, hear my voice, feel my peace/ 
And know that I am always here for you/ 
And it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to not know what to pray/ 
It’s okay if you’re scared, and you don’t feel prepared/ 
For all the things that you face every single day/ 
But if you can trust me my love, trust that I can be enough/ 
I will guide you through this life, I will give you hope/
And in time my child, you'll see that you will be okay/ 

Dear child, hiding those marks on your arms/
It hurts Me so much to see you causing yourself harm/ 
I wish you didn’t feel the need, to cause yourself to bleed/ 
I know you can’t see any hope, you’re at the end of your rope/
You keep hiding by yourself, afraid to ask for anyone’s help/ 

But child listen to Me, hear my voice, feel my peace/
And know that I am always here for you/ 
And it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to not know what to pray/ 
It’s okay if you’re scared, and you don’t feel prepared/ 
For the things that you face every single day/
But if you can trust me My Love, trust that I can be enough/
I will guide you through this life, I will give you hope/
And in time my child, you'll see that you will be okay/

Dear child, hiding away in the bathroom after your meal/ 
]You see your food again cause you are scared to feel/
]Every minute of the day there’s a war in your mind/
Every thought you think about yourself is unkind/
You're scared to ask for help, so you try to handle it yourself/

But child listen to Me, hear my voice, feel my peace/
And know that I am always here for you/
And it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to not know what to pray/
It’s okay if you’re scared, and you don’t feel prepared/ 
For all of the things that you face everyday/ 
But if you can trust me my love, trust that I can be enough/ 
I will guide you through this life, I will give you hope/
And in time my child, you'll see that you will be okay/ 

My child don’t you know, I am always there with you/ 
I’ve got scars on my hands and feet, I’ve been where you are too/ 
I’ve felt hurt I’ve felt pain, I’ve cried out my Fathers name/
And I asked Him why He had forsaken me/ 
And then He gently, and lovingly said to me/ 

My child listen to me, hear my voice feel my peace/
And know that I am still right here with you/ 
It’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to not know what to pray/
It’s ok that you’re scared, and you don’t feel prepared/ 
For all that I’m calling you to do today/
But keep trusting my love, and believe that it’s enough/
I will guide you you know, in Me there’s always hope/ 
And because of you my Child, the world, someday/
Will be okay

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  Life in Bethlehem Town - a Christmas parody
Posted by: swesternmusic - 12-08-2017, 06:08 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/play...i&newref=1

"LIFE IN BETHLEHEM TOWN" is a Christmas parody of "Life in a Northern Town" done by Sugarland, Jake Owen and Little Big Town.
I hope you enjoy it.
Merry Christmas to all.
Skip


VERSE 1
A heavenly star was displayed
And the shepherds watched so no one would stray,
The angels came praising God, praising God
And though the Inn was full this day
The stable had a manger and hay
This would be His birthday, His birthday

CHORUS
Ego eimi into our sight
(Phonetically – AYgo - ayMEE – Greek for “I AM”)
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town

VERSE 2
They gathered near our Kingdom Come
Bringing glory ‘round the first-born Son
And all who saw and heard, were amazed
Mary pondered would her people be saved?
As the shepherds danced and praised
And Magi bearing gifts, are following, the star

CHORUS
Ego eimi into our sight
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town
Alleluia!

Ego eimi into our sight
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town,
All our hope is in You

VERSE 3
Glory to God in the highest
Peace to those on whom His favor rests
The Savior is born, Emmanuel
Now all people will come to know
As their hearts begin to overflow
Jesus is The Way, The Truth and, The Light

CHORUS
Ego eimi into our life
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town
Deliver me, oh Lord


Ego eimi into our life
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town
All our hope is in You

Ego eimi into our life
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town
Alleluia!

Ego eimi into our life
Ego eimi came like they said
Life in Bethlehem town
Alleluia!

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  Silent Night
Posted by: PraisingHim - 12-06-2017, 05:10 PM - Forum: Song Critiques - No Replies

This is a version of "Silent Night" I did back in 2000 on a Tascam 424 4-track cassette recorder. The recording is far from perfect (you'll notice that I could have used a good pop filter for the vocals!), but I like the overall sound and feel of it so much that I decided not to do a new recording. I remastered the original 2000 recording, and here it is, full mix then just vocals:

Silent Night

Silent Night (a cappella)

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  Saving Christmas
Posted by: ShannonB - 12-06-2017, 01:01 AM - Forum: Song Critiques - Replies (2)

https://soundcloud.com/user-759209468/saving-christmas

I've been hearing everything except Christmas music. It's been bothering me lately that secular artists don't mind talking about God, but some Christians do. So this is my rebel project.

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  Wichita Ks collab vocalist/pianist
Posted by: j.psalms23 - 12-04-2017, 05:04 PM - Forum: General Discussion - No Replies

God bless to all who find /stumble across this thread if God permits. I am posting this in hopes and prayer that something can change and happen here in wichita ks. There is much talent in the world, but few are aware of the talents they have and how much they can really do in servitude. I am offering aid for small sums, to anyone interested to create/collab new music, and or write if they cant on their own. Primarily I have done/composed my own in spanish. But I can do english, pop/r&b. If this is an option for you, PM with any questions, and I can provide phone number and any sample of myself if you'd like to see what I am capable of. Thank you and God bless!

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  Secret behind many inexpensive large condenser mics (LDC)
Posted by: gdball - 12-01-2017, 07:26 PM - Forum: Recording Help and Tips - No Replies

Just for a fun discussion and maybe some insight - or correction about anything I say here that's wrong.

I'm condensing (bad pun) another article on the history of mics made in China. In the early 1950's a German company shared the K67 Mic Capsule that is used in the Neuman U87 and U67 microphones with a Chinese company. The result were NOT cheap knock-offs - but more or less licensed and approved by the original manufacturer. They are good capsules (or can be) that are close if not identical to the ones still used today in the U87.  But...

The K67 capsule has a feature that goes back to the early days when AM radio effectively only had 24db of gain above the noise floor (Yah, you read that right, 24db) They came up with a trick of boosting certain higher frequencies quite a lot before transmission. They called this "pre-emphasis". Once received, your better radios would "de-emphasize" those same frequencies back down to something approaching normal, and it was a way to get more signal with less noise.  Pre-emphasis/De-emphasis is one of the tricks still used by noise reduction systems like Dolby.

Neuman built the same trick into the U87 microphone.   The K67 capsule was intentionally designed so that it has a sharp 8db pre-emphasis peak around 7-8 kHz which was then followed by some pretty expensive and cool de-emphasis circuitry in the rest of the mic. That combination gives you a very quiet mic with a hot signal and a slightly warm presence bump.  

But there are other kinds of circuitry out there (Shoeps) that happen to be a LOT cheaper. You could even argue Shoeps is a better circuit design because it is so flat and transparent. IF that is, you pair it with a capsule that is itself also very flat.  What would happen if you built a mic that paired the boosted K67 Capsule with this much cheaper but flat circuitry?  eh... I'm guessing you know and have heard it.  

The story is that certain well known American retailers wanted "a U87 clone at very cheap price point" and so possibly against the better judgment of the Chinese Mic makers, we got what we got. As I understand it, both parts of the mic are probably reasonably good quality - they just don't belong together. 

Wouldn't something like that show up in those frequency graphs on the box and manufactures web site? Heh. Mic manufacturers are allowed to use "smoothing" in the graphs they display.  I wish I knew a better way to insert images here and I'd show you the raw graph I have of a badly behaving room, and then another of how great the exact same room looks with smoothing applied to the graph.  Smoothing is supposed to represent "what humans can really distinguish" but I think sometimes that's called denial.  Or - maybe with narrow peaks our inability to distinguish it is partially true.  We hear a problem but its hard to distinguish what the problem actually is.


Anyway, IMO if you don't realize that what you're hearing is that pretty narrow 8db boost that's been added by the mic around 7k then you might drive yourself nuts trying to EQ a track. Say you try bringing the highs down with a shelf EQ, or fairly wide Q on a parametric  - what happens is that the sound get dull, and yet that peak is still annoying. You waste an hour turning things up/down and never do get something you're really satisfied with. 

Anyway, interesting or useful? You've heard all this before? Heard a different story? Have a better answer? Anyone here into mic mods?

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  Hello
Posted by: DenaliDog - 12-01-2017, 04:05 PM - Forum: Hello My Name is... - Replies (4)

Hi. I just found and joined this site today. Not only am I new here, I am new to writing songs.  Here is a bit of background on how I wound up here.

I have written poetry for years.  Mostly I have written as a tool to gather my own thoughts contemplating spiritual principles or biblical truth.  I usually write on scrap paper, the back of grocery receipts, etc. I very rarely shared them with anyone and viewed them as just something between God and I.  All but a few wound up in the trash over the years.  I know it may sound crazy to a group of writers, but it did not occur to me to do anything with them!

While on vacation in Montana and Wyoming a while back I started praying about things I could do to ease out of the corporate world.  During that trip it was as if God said "Hey. Dummy.  I have given you a lot of verses over the years and you just toss them.  Howbowdat????" So, I am thinking maybe I should try to write songs.  I wrote a couple during the trip and one of them appeared to show promise.  So I came home, promptly buried the notebook, and forgot about it.

Fast forward a year ... my youngest son has been taking guitar lessons for a few years.  His teacher thinks he is somewhat of a prodigy.  He is very good.  His girlfriend sings, plays guitar as well and is a very talented actress.  So they will be doing a Christmas program this year at church and were looking for songs.  I showed them the song I had written, and over the last couple months we have been working on the music and arrangement. ( I am simply a lyricist ).  The debut will be 12/3/17.  They have also been asked to play at a private Christmas party later this month that is actually hosted by a person that was a Dove award nominee this year. We are hoping to get some idea from that whether we are on the right track here or not.  We are also just starting to work on a couple other songs.
 
We have emailed this song back and forth to each other several times. My understanding is that is sufficient for copyright.  Is that correct?

I am looking forward to learning more about this site and the participants and how to do this stuff!

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  Lady Wisdom
Posted by: ahendriks - 11-28-2017, 08:43 PM - Forum: Lyric Critiques - Replies (2)

Okay...you have had to endure my critiques, so now it's your turn to have a go at one of my recent ones. Music is in my head. This is a rock number.


Vs 1 
She walks alone, she walks alone
She walks alone through city streets
She searches low, she searches high
She looks for someone who will hear her cry
Whoa oh oh, Whoa oh oh
 
Chorus
Her name is wisdom, lady wisdom
She shouts but no one, no one listens
Open your ears she says, I’ll share my story
Open your hearts, you’ll know my glory
Hold me tight, I am your life
 
Vs 2
She walks alone, she walks alone
She walks alone through barren waste
Her hair is white, her robe is gold
She looks for knowledge but the trail is cold
Whoa oh oh, Whoa oh oh

Chorus

Bridge
Dead ones walking (x3)

Chorus


Tag
A OH, A OH, she walks alone, she walks alone
A OH, A OH, she walks alone, she walks alone

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DFW Christian Songwriters

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